Memory.

Part Eleven.

"You want me to tell you everything?" I asked Harry. "Are you sure ,you want that? Because I don't think you know what you're getting yourself in to." I sighed.

"I am positive, Amber. I want you to tell me what's bothering you so I can atleast try to help." Harry rubbed his thumb along my cheek.

I looked at Harry once more and his green eyes showed nothing but sincerity.

"Okay." I breathed. "No one understands what this is like for me. I build this.. facade around everyone so they don't ask questions. Because frankly, I don't know how to answer most them or I just don't want to. I don't know who I am, Harry. Do you have any idea what that is like for me? You don't! No one does! Everyone seems to think that I just go with the flow and learn who I am all over again but it's not that simple!"

My voice was raising, and tears were falling. I was losing control of my emotions as I spoke, but right now I don't even care. He asked for everything, so I am telling him everything.

I began to cry even more than I anticipated. "I am tired of asking people what I did before the accident, or what I liked, or who I was! And I am tired of you telling me who I was. I don't know who I am or what my hobbies are or even why I have this fucking belly button ring!" I half laughed.

"But my point is... all these people, including you, tell me these things about the old me. And to me it sounds like you are just telling me about a complete different person. I don't know the old me anymore, that girl is gone! And unless I somehow gain my memory back, she is gone for good."

I paused for a minute, catching my breath. I thought I had stopped crying but my body fooled me, as I began to cry more when more words came out.

"You tell me I am this party girl, who has a wild side and a sexual side. I don't know who that girl is... I am sorry I just don't. I don't want to hear about her anymore. The girl who loves to dance, the girl who smokes and drinks after school by your car, the girl who has body piercings." I flinched. "I don't want anyone to tell me who I am anymore. I want to find out on my own. You need to let the old me go and if you really want to be with me, you will be with the new Amber."

Harry's eyebrows were scrunched together on his forhead. He was really trying to understand. I waited to hear what he had to say.

"Okay." He said.

I paused for a minute. "Okay what? Is that all you have to say??"

"Okay meaning I agree with you. I will love this new Amber just as much, if not more.. than the old you." Harry spoke softly. I feel his skin touch mine and I gasped. I got chills. His hand slowly intertwined with mine and it fit perfectly.

"You love me?" I breathed, more like a whisper.

"I do. More than you will ever know." He whispered back. "You are the sweetest, kindest and most selfless person I have ever met in my life. The way you can get up each morning and barely even fix you hair or put makeup on and you still look flawless. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, Amber." He paused. "I should have never-"

He stopped and he was lost for words, or maybe he just didn't want to say it.

"Never what?" I asked curiously. He sat there with a blank look. I could tell he was thinking of what to say. "Harry.... what were you going to say?"

He came to and said, "Uhh... I was going to say I should have never done what I did to you today.. you know the whole telling you who you are and all that...?" He said, almost like he was asking himself if that was correct.

"Oh. It's okay. It's in the past and I don't want to dwell on the past anymore. The future and the present is all I care about." I grinned.

He bit his lip seductivley and said "And what do you see in your future?"

I smiled. "You."

He leaned in closer to me and I felt his warm breath on my cheek. I looked into his eyes, then my eyes trailed down his face to his pink lips.

But I couldn't kiss him. Not yet anyway. I had something to do first before I took that step.

"Harry?" I asked.

"Yes, love?" He grinned.

I said nervously, "Before we start this whole forget-about-the-old-me thing, I do have one question.....
that only you can answer."