The Power Inside (Kylo Ren)

Eleven

Elle got dressed as slowly as she could. When she was almost finished, she felt the chill of bumps appear on her skin just like Alan has said.

"Not right now Alan, please. As soon as he leaves we can talk." she pleaded. 

The sensation went away and it remained quiet. She sighed a breath of relief and went back into the common area of her room. Ren was still there but without the helmet. 

"You actually listened." 

"Who were you talking to?" 

Elle froze, "Oh...just myself." 

Ren narrowed his eyes at her for a second then shrugged, seemingly accepting that answer. Elle sat down across from him and faced him. There was a weird tension in the room and the silence wasn't helping. 

"your hands?" he said, finally breaking the silence, while pointing to her hands. 

Elle looked down at them; the bruising and swelling went down and she no longer needed to bandage them. "They're fine. Scarred but functioning." 

"Try to refrain from doing that again." 

"Don't piss me off that badly and I won't." 

"You're blaming me for your childish outburst?" he accused. 

"Says the guy who destroyed the command room because he didn't get what he wanted." she argued back. 

Ren quickly stood and walked over to her, "Stand." he demanded. 

"No." 

His jaw twitched. He raised his hand and force held her up onto her feet. Elle was fighting against it but knew nothing she did would work. He released his hold when she was on her feet in front of him. Ren bent down a little, he was quite a bit taller than Elle was, so that his face was even with hers. Elle's hands started to ball into fists as his face drew closer to hers. He stopped, leaving little distance in between their faces, and glared into her eyes. 

"Why do you resist me?'

"Resist you? Look, I know everyone else bows down to you in fear but that's not going to happen here." 

His face remained still like stone, "Your thoughts. Your location. Your existence. I can't sense any of it. I briefly could when you first came here but not anymore." 

"Maybe you aren't as strong as you think you are." 

"No, you're blocking me. Why?" 

"I'm not blocking anything." 

"What are you afraid of?" he asked, scanning her eyes for a sign that he was right. 

"I already told you I'm not doing anything to block you." Elle tried to push his face away but he grabbed both of her wrists and held them down tightly. She struggled but it was no use. 

"Let me in." 

"Would you fucking listen! I don't have any control over what happening to me! Let go!" Elle was full on screaming at him now. She was mad that he didn't believe her, that he wouldn't let go, and that he was so close to her.

Despite her anger, Elle felt an instinct to get closer. The war that was waging between what she felt and what she thought was visible in her eyes. Her mind was refusing to accept this vulnerable, weak feeling and the conflict drove her to anger. Ren could see very clearly in her eyes that she was confused about something and it was causing her distress. 

He released her wrists but remained where he was. Ren couldn't look away from her eyes; he was drawn in and kept there by everything he could see. All of the anger, pain, and hatred that consumed her; it reminded him of himself. 

"What are you so desperately trying to fight Elle?" 

"I don't know." she muttered. Hearing him say her name sent a chill throughout her body; it was the first time he had actually called her by her name. 

"Stop fighting it then." 

She thought about it for a few seconds. If I stop fighting, then I become weak. I won't let myself be weak and vulnerable after everything that I've been through. Elle was fighting so hard to keep things the way that they were. 

"I can't."  

Ren was fighting a similar war in his head. He felt weakened around her. He hadn't taken his helmet off for anyone except the Supreme Leader. They were both stuck fighting emotions that they refused to accept.

"Why?" 

Elle struggled to get out a response. "I...uh...because it's all I know how to do." she stuttered.

There was a pause. Ren closed the gap between their faces and placed his lips on hers. Elle's face grew hot when she felt his lips; she unconsciously raised one of her hands and placed it on the side of his face. His skin was both soft and rough. His first instinct was to remove her hand but instead he grabbed her waist and pulled her body closer to his. Their lips moved in sync for a minute or two before Elle slowly pulled away. 

She looked up at him, expecting to see anger or regret on his face but it was softened. Elle traced her thumb over the scar on his face and he winced quietly under her touch. 

She pulled away apologetically, "Does it hurt?" 

"Sometimes, yes." It didn't hurt him at all when she touched his scar; is was her gentle touch that startled him. He took her hand and placed it back onto his face over the scar. 

Elle started to trace the scar again and Ren stared at her while she focused on what she was doing. She slowly followed the scar from its beginning to the end. When she had reached the bottom of the scar, she pulled her hand away and looked at him. His gaze was relaxed and calm, something Elle thought she's never see.  

Commander Ren checked the time and realized that he was late to report Elle's status to General Hux. "I have to report to the command center." 

"Right now?" she asked sadly. 

"Unfortunately, yes." He said as he stood up and placed his helmet back on. 

Elle's face saddened when he put his helmet back on. "Okay." she said quietly. 

"I'll be back Elle." He assured before walking out of her room. 

She felt alone as soon as he left. Her mind was spinning from what just happened and the regret started to set in. 

Elle you are a fucking idiot. You're letting him affect you. Quit being so weak. 

She kept telling herself this over and over but no matter how many times she recited it, Elle knew that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from feeling now. She had only woken up a few hours ago but was ready to go back to sleep. Again, she felt a chill followed by bumps on her skin. 

Fucking great.