Turn Me Back!

Episode 7 - The Golden Carriage

I jerk awake and lie there panting, covered in sweat. That stupid dream again! Ever since I was cursed, I've been re-living that scene in the witch's cottage. It never fails to put me in a foul mood.

The cracks of dim light filtering through the shutters are getting paler. I lie groggily staring at them. There's something rising up from the back of my mind. Didn't I have something to do today? Wasn't I supposed to...

Shit.

I'm still attempting to fasten the lacing on my dress as I scurry up the hill to the castle gates. Reaching the brow of the hill, the spectacle beyond the gates comes into view and I heave a sigh of relief at the reassuring degree of chaos taking place in the wide courtyard. Although it's well past dawn, innumerable people, horses and dogs are milling around with varying levels of aimlessness. I haven't missed the royal party's departure.

I find Kayla wrestling her way out of a wriggling clump of three-horned goats. "Put them in the cart," she yells at a goatskin-clad man bearing a three-horned staff.

"No need for that. They'll run alongside, easy like," he drawls. "They's good runners."

"No! We're specifically instructed not to have loose animals." She catches sight of me and shoves a hairy goat-ass aside, so she can stalk towards me. "You're late!"

"The girl could ride one-of-em," calls the goat man. "They's good runners with passengers an all."

"What are the goats for?" I ask.

Kayla brushes hair out of her face. "Archaic wedding tradition. Don't ask. Look, there's been a mix-up and we're terribly short of carriage space. You might have to-"

"Don't say I actually have to ride one of those things," I say, wrinkling my nose. Behind Kayla, the goat man is beckoning, patting the back of the nearest goat in an inviting manner. Another goat is chewing the edge of Kayla's cloak.

"No, of course not," she says impatiently, jerking her cloak out of the goat's reach. "But you'll have to ride with a group of courtiers. The horses are all spoken for. I don't suppose you're tall enough to ride one, anyway."

"Tall enough for a goat," remarks the man.

She whirls around and shrieks at him. "Will you get those bloody goats into the bloody cart!"

"They likes running."

"Where should I go then?" I ask.

"God knows! Just get into one of those." She gestures to where dozens of carriages are lined up, waiting for the signal to leave. "And quickly," she adds. "We're leaving any second."

"They'd better not contain any wizards," I mutter, stomping over to the carriages. I'm not tall enough to see into any of the windows, so it's a matter of choosing at random. As I'm walking past one carriage, its door opens and a chubby little girl (a real one) sticks her head out.

"Are you looking for your mummy?" she asks.

"Absolutely not," I tell her. I'm long done with that woman. I carry on walking but she calls after me. "You can ride with us if you want. I have three dolls and I'll share with you."

"Can I pull their heads off?" I call back. A gasp is followed by noisy sobbing and then the bang of the carriage door closing.

"Move out!" comes a cry from up at the front of the baggage train. Near me the horses prick up their ears and footmen descend from the various carriages to release the wheel brakes.

A sense of urgency seizes me. I have to find a carriage NOW or else risk being left behind. I open a door at random and stick my head in. Full of fat old ladies. They all exclaim in delight when they see me. "Absolutely not," I repeat and slam the door again. In the next instant the carriage moves off, bearing the fat ladies away. The one behind it is also pulling away. Jeez, I'd better get into one of these things without delay.