Smile (Ashton Irwin || A.u) *discontinued*

Chapter 14

|| Cherry Wine - Hozier ||

Alicia wandered the streets, holding her arms in an attempt to keep warm. How could she have been so stupid to leave in the first place, they are going to find her, take her back to the rehab and keep her on lockdown as punishment. How could she go to Michael's drug house after being so long without the recreational drugs? She took a deep breath as these questions took over her frame of thought. 

She sat on a nearby bench and rested her forehead on her hand. A squirrel ran past her and up a willow tree across the pathway. Alicia needed to breathe, slowly like they had taught her in the rehab. Even though she had left, it didn't mean that the rehab had not taught her anything valuable. When Alicia had a bad day and Linda came to take care of her, Linda taught her that to clear her mind she needed to breathe in and out slowly, counting to 8 when she breathed in and 10 when she breathed out. Linda had also taught her that this was beneficial when Alicia had a panic attack in her first week of arriving. A plane flew overhead, causing Alicia look up at the unexpected noise. The flashing of the plane was her main focus. She attempted to direct her mind from the paranoia of being followed and to the philosophy behind the travel of flight.

Her brain wondered to how plane were able to keep at a steady height for so long, how the engines were able to keep a plane alive in the sky. She wondered about the lives and health of the passengers on the metal bird. The plane passed her line of eyesight and was lost among the collection of clouds that hovered above her. Her wrist began to ache from the morning breeze and she looked down at the scars that had collected down her wrist and over her arm. She sighed, knowing that even fron the temptation of going to Michaels drug house, she needed to see Ashton first whilst she still had a small piece of sanity. 

A young adult came and joined her on the bench, visibly sweating from what she believed was a morning jog. He smiled softly to her as she returned the smile, realising that she must look visibly insane. Messy hair, scars all over her body, stained tears marks on her cheek and chin and a half ripped t-shirt with the initicials A.C on it, the rehab t-shirt which was mandatory for all the patients. He gave her a soft side smile and attempted to catch his breath as he wiped his dyed blond streak off of his forehead. 

"Hey, are you alright love." He uncapped his bottled water, which was visibly wet from him holding it with sweaty hands. His Australian accent bought back memories of Ashton. Alicia's heart stopped from the fact that she would actually have to respond to this stranger as he was just being polite. Her breath caught in her throat as she attempted to form words with her mouth. This failed and her palms turned clammy, a dark pink flush rising to her cheeks from embarrassment. She closed her eyes and exhaled quickly before turning to the sweaty stranger and wiping her hands on the pair of plain black leggings that were given to all to the female paitents in the rehab. 

"I-I'm okay..." Alicia exhaled and closed her eyes again as she waited for the young dark haired stranger to laugh at her or make fun of her. Her anxiety took the better of her as the speed of her heart sped up, causing her breathing to become rapid. Her thoughts began to cloud and jumble as she opened her eyes, looking back to the stranger, who now had his eyebrows furrowed. She began playing with her fingers attempting to distract her mind from the early stages of her panic attack.

"Are you sure? Would you like a drink?" He offered out his bottled water, which she shook her head to, unable to get out words as she focused her attention to a simple black rock next to her foot. Her breathing pattern rapidly increased as the stranger rested his hand on her shoulder. She let it happen, slightly relieved that he had stayed with her. The stranger was talking to her, but the words were lost in a mumble that her brain created. The words made no sense and were muffled, it was as if she was wearing ear muffs. She covered her face with her hand as she let the panic attack happen, knowing that it was the best thing. It was as if time had slowed down throughout this period. What she believed to beand hour was only a few minutes. Her mind cleared up and her breathing slowed as she finally opened her eyes, looking straight into the dark brown eyes of the stranger.

"Excuse me miss, but would you like me to call an ambulance?" The dark haired, dark eyed stranger lifted Alicia up so that her back was against the bench as she attempted to regain a steady breathing pattern. She shaked her head and shuffled away from the stangers kind shoulder touch and onto the edge of the bench.

"No thank you, that doesn't happen very often, thank you though." She smiled softy and wiped her face with her hands, like she was trying to remove what had just happened, like it was a visible flaw.

"It's fine, would you like a drink now?" The stranger held out his water bottle again, hoping that she would take it. She looked at the water bottle cautiously and back up at the stranger. He noticed this look and smiled weakly at her. 

"There's nothing in it I promise, look." The stranger uncapped the lid and put the bottle to his lips, drinking a mouthful before swallowing and holding the bottle back out to Alicia. She took the bottle hesitantly and put it to her lips, having a drop of a mouthful and then handing the bottle back to the stranger.

"Thank you, I-I needed that." She smiled softly at him before looking away, suddenly feeling uncomfortable that she had just accepted a drink from a stranger. He put the lid back onto the bottle and set it beside him before stretching on the bench. The sound of his spine cracking was quiet, yet still hearable.

"No problem. Are you sure your going to be alright now?" He smiled again at her, in an attempt to make her feel comfortable around him. Alicia admitted to herself that he did seem friendly, but he was a stranger and couldn't be trusted.

"Yes thank you. Thank you for the drink, but I'm going to leave now." She went to stand up as the stranger did the same, grabbing his water bottle in his right hand.

"It's seriously no problem at all. The name is Calum by the way, Calum Hood." He extended his hand as Alicia eyed it and looked away, embarrassed to shake his hand because her hands were still slightly clammy from the earlier panic attack. Calum seemed to have taken the hint and lowered his hand still smiling at Alicia. "Are you lost? What way are you heading?" Calum questioned her as he began jogging slowly on the spot, attempting to get back into his jogging routine.

Alicia debated on these questions and wondered whether or not she should actually go back to Michaels after all. Her mind debated on what would happen when she got there. She would inevitably buy the drugs, take them there and then and have her high. Then what? What would Ashton think of her? Even though she had now left the rehab and her medication, it didn't mean she needed to go back to her old ways does it? Does she really want to go back? Start taking her Zoloft and then what? Want to leave again? Alicia sighed out loud and realised that was probably not the best option. She would need to take her medication again to help with her depression and anxiety. Believe it or not, she actually regretted leaving. She knew she hadn't really thought this through.

"Excuse me? You kind of zoned off..." Calum waved his hand in front  of Alicia's face and smiled when she blinked and recognised that she was around another human being. She came up with the decision that she should go back to the rehab, take to one of the nurses, convice that nurse that she was steady enough to leave with prescriptions for Zoloft.

"Erm, I have somewhere that I need to be acually. Do you have the time though?" Alicia side smiled at Calum as he reached into the back pocket of his grey sweat pants and pulled out his IPhone and clicked the lock button to display the screen.

"It is 7:46am." He locked his phone back up and placed it back into his pocket as he looked back up at Alicia. "Well I'm going to leave now, it was lovely meeting you...?" He smiled and sped up his jogging on the spot.

"Alicia. You too Calum, thank you for helping me before." She smiled back at him as he gave her a final smile and continued on his morning jog as Alicia turned and faced the way to the rehab. The butterflies in her stomach were undeniable and slightly painful, but this was due to the hunger that was caused by her lack of food.

She was outside the doors of the rehab before she even realised that her legs had walked her there. With an inhale and exhale, Alicia stepped in front of the automatic doors and walked up to the reception desk.