Guess That Is How I Know You

Chapter IX

May 10, 2016

It has been exactly 10 days since Cecilia last spoke to me, or even acknowledged my presence, she had even gone as far as ignoring me during class, which led to a lot of half slept nights trying to catch up on her course seeing as she would not even give me room to ask questions in class.

She would be explaining something too fast for me to understand, I would raise my hand to ask her to repeat, and as if I were invisible, she would ignore it altogether, turn around and find an excuse to write something on the board.

10 days of being ignored also meant 5 classes of not having a single one of my queries answered.

I was swamped with books to read. I would have to try very hard not to fail on her next test seeing as I had already gotten a pretty shitty grade on the first one—60 out of 100, which for me, was unacceptable.

I also had to deal with the aftermath of that horrendous day.

I was left to try and find a way to apologize to Nay although I had no idea what for at first.

After all, are people supposed to apologize for the things their subconscious think? Are people even to blame for their subconscious?

Those were valid questions, but Nay did not even know it was my subconscious who had led her on in the first place. I did not even know for sure if my subconscious was the only one to blame.

Nevertheless, it took me a whole weekend to grow some female balls and talk to her.

I had gone to the same place Nay and I had first met. I did not even mean to go there, my driving just ended up taking me there. Maybe it was my subconscious once again.

The first thing I saw was Nay on the track vigorously biking, she was doing every single turn a little too harsh, every jump a little farther than her usual. It was enough for me to know she was taking it all out on the mud.

I had done it so many times before, it was not hard for me to read a frustrated biker taking their anguish to the track. Once she noticed me though, that was it. She did not get the bike to turn left in time for her not to drift. And just like that the bike was down and so was she.

Nay got herself up and started pacing forcefully in my direction, which then led to her hand landing very heavily on my cheek. I deserved it. I figured it would help her getting-over process.

But then she dropped to the floor beside my car, sitting like some kid who just found out their mother is not buying what she had promised earlier that day.

"I never had a chance, did I?" She looked up to find my eyes. I sat in front of her, hugging my legs and resting my chin on my knees.

"Honestly, I have no idea what's going on in my head, all I know is, I really liked being around you, and you made me feel as if my feelings weren't all over the place." She touched the side of my leg, almost pitying me.

"I'm sorry if it made you feel like I was leading you on. Also, I really need you to know I wasn't sleeping with anyone else while we were together, or even before that, and after that for that matter." She laughed right on my face, I probably looked as lost as she was hurt, and for her, it seemed like an even situation.

"It's not your feelings that are all over the place, you know. It's your acceptance of them that are." I did not quite get it, so she went on.

"Babe, you really need to open your eyes and see that your professor slash neighbor slash friend and you yourself, are very much into each other, and very much in denial about wanting one another. I should've known better than to get in your bed, I knew it the moment I saw her waiting for you that first day we met."