Guess That Is How I Know You

Chapter XXIII

November 10, 2016

Lately I had been feeling as if I was hiding something more than just my insecurities from Cecilia and that just helped me feel like I had cheated on her emotionally somehow.

I felt guilty over not telling her about my encounter with her ex, and the more time I went on not telling her, the more I felt like I should have just said something the day that happened.

Yet, I think I would have never told her if it was not for the fact the doctor had decided to call her out of the blue.

The professor and I were at the mediation center yesterday and her phone, as usual, was at my table so it would not distract her during mediation. It was on airplane mode up until the end of the session.

She had sort of a routine, every time a mediation session was over, she would get her phone and leave the room to grab coffee before getting back to her mediation room and we would talk for a while before I had to leave.

Only this past Tuesday when she came back in the room with her coffee in hands, she had a frown on her face because of what was displaying on her phone screen.

I did not care much about it because at first, I thought it was only a call from a number she did not recognize—I could not have been further from the truth though.

"It's uhm... Miranda." Cecilia had a frown on her face, and I could not quite read what it meant, probably because I was having a silent meltdown thinking what the doctor could possibly want from her. What if she told Cecilia about our talk and Cecilia felt betrayed that I had hidden it from her?

"Are you gonna answer it?" I asked trying to keep my cool as I heard the ring going on for the third time.

"I don't think I want to." That statement helped me get back on my feet, but I realized in that moment it was best I told her about my encounter with her ex.

Once her phone had stopped ringing and she was sitting in front of me while she sipped from her coffee, I figured that was as good a time as any to talk to her.

"I feel like I should tell you something." That got her attention and she stopped in the midst of taking another sip, retreating the cup from her lips and placing it on the table instead.

She crossed her legs and leaned back on her chair as she nodded for me to continue. "I saw Miranda the day I went to my doctor's appointment."

"Okay?" The fact she was not pressing any more information out of me just made me freak out even more. "I'm not saying this isn't a surprise, but I don't exactly see what the problem is."

"We talked. She asked about you. About how you were doing." I could feel it becoming harder to get to where I wanted to go with that conversation.

"So, you were civil. I think I would have probably done the same if I were in her shoes." The damn woman could not be any more chill about the whole thing and it was driving me crazy.

"She figured out we were... I don't even know how to call us... beside the point." She just kept looking at me with her understanding eyes that usually made me feel safe, yet all I could feel was aggravated.

"She warned me about you. Miranda said you were all about the chase and once you got it, you got me, you would eventually get tired and move on to the next just like you did with her."

I knew she wanted to say something—I could see her mouth starting to open sucking in the air before she could speak—but I stopped her. Once I had started, I felt like it was best to let it all out.

"I know I shouldn't give her too much credit, but I can't help but feel like she is right. Honestly, at the same time I feel like I have nothing to complain about you, I also feel like you are leading me on." I was out of breath by the time I was done venting.