vexatious (infuriating sequel)

chapter eighty-two

"you going to sam's tonight?"

"yeah of course. can i talk to you?" i make sure my voice is quiet enough so that colby won't be able to hear me if he leaves his room. i'm sitting with my legs sprawled out on the couch, and jake finds a seat at the other end of it.

"colby wants me to move away with him..." i whisper the words as if they are evil, even though i know they're not. i just need to get a second opinion on this, and i don't think it's smart but jake seems like the best option. "is that bad?" his eyes are full of confusion and i almost roll my own. i can't be the only one who thinks colbys idea is irrational and way too sudden. "you don't think so?" i ask, my voice hopeful that he'll tell me i'm an idiot for considering it. i want him to talk me out of this, and back into a sane mind because this is all too crazy. i can't move in with colby, right? even though i want to, i can't. even though i'm an adult and i should be able to make decisions like this on my own, i don't think i can.

"no, i don't. you guys already lived together." i roll my eyes at the familiar point being made. can someone tell these boys that they don't have to be right? they can just make ridiculous arguments that i can shoot down instead. it's true, we already lived together alone. it was the best few months of my life so far, but it seems like a distant memory. we just moved here, and moving out so soon sounds outlandish.

"i guess," i shrug, not sure how to respond to jake. "do you not want to?" he asks and i stare at the wall behind him before answering.

"trust me, i do. i just don't know if wanting to is enough for me to actually do it. it's crazy! moving in with him? away from everyone?"

"well, where does he want to move?" he asks and i think for a few seconds. "near oceanview?" i say, and it comes out as a question rather than an answer. i'm realizing now that i have no idea where exactly that is. i didn't question it when colby brought it up. i was way too clouded by the idea of him asking me to run away with him like a mad-man.

"it's beautiful there!" jake exclaims. "let me visit," he adds and i clench my jaw. i never agreed to this, and it's already a plan for jake to visit us?

"i haven't decided yet!" i express my stubbornness and he nods slowly.

"that's okay, andro... but it's you and colby. it's gonna happen eventually anyways," he shrugs and i want to get angry at the comment. he's right though, and i can't get mad at him for saying it when i won't. it's true, it's us and we do stupid things like this. if it doesn't happen now, it will happen eventually.

•

"are you getting ready?" julia's voice surprises me from the stairs behind me.

"yeah," i say slowly and turn towards her. she is dressed in tight white jeans, and a black blouse. she looks beautiful, and her clothes perfectly frame her body. she has light makeup on, and i find myself envying her. i have got to stop being friends with such pretty girls, it knocks my self esteem down so low.

"why are you here?" i ask when she sits next to me. i grab my light blue dress and look to her for an answer.

"i just thought i'd come see you first," she speaks lightly, and i can tell she is lying. i plan to glare at her until she gives up the information she's clearly withholding.

"fine," she groans and i smile sweetly. i debate leaving the room to change, but i know julia we'll enough to be comfortable putting the dress on in front of her. as i remove my shirt, she remains eye contact and speaks again.

"jake texted me..." she admits and i look at her with confusion clear in my features.

"about?" i ask and slip the dress over my body. i have to resist the urge to get lost in my memories in this dress. i wore it when i met colby, and i can't look at it the same since then. i only think of the way he slurred and how he smiled when i agreed to walk him home. i'm reminded of the way he wanted me to go into his apartment, and i wonder what would've happened if i did. if i hadn't bargained with him and agreed to give him my phone number instead, where would we be right now? would i still live with tara? would i still be oblivious to what romance really is? the way i acted that night was so out of character, it's hard to imagine myself giving my number to a boy i hardly know. let alone a rude one, one who asked me crude questions upon first meeting me.