vexatious (infuriating sequel)

chapter seventy-two

the drive to sam's place was lonely, but the music blasting through my old and almost blown out stereo kept me company. i don't mind it. it means i don't have to worry about filling the space with my own voice, or wait on someone else's voice to do the same.

"hey, girl!" katrina greets me when i knock on the door. "hi," i smile at her gently. it feels like i haven't been inside of this apartment complex in years, but it has only been a few weeks at most. why must time not work correctly with these people in my life? ever since i came here the first time, i've experienced the worlds most complex time loop. one second i am in slow motion, the next second it's been a week since i last opened my eyes to consciousness.

"julia's in the bathroom," the blue haired girl explains once i find myself inside the apartment. the air is cold, and i wish colby was here to scold me for forgetting a jacket.

me: missing you

colby: me too, how is your day going?

the almost immediate text back catches me off guard, but a smile covers my face nonetheless.

me: great! would be better if u were here, how is yours?

i wish he knew how much i wanted him to be there as i dozed off last night. after my conversation with jake, i was exhausted by the thoughts in my own head. i could barely get to sleep, but staying awake was an even harder task to complete. it felt like i couldn't do anything at all. like i was frozen in time, but moving fast as well.

"andro!" julia's voice drags me by my ear straight out of my mind full of colby, and back into sams living room, where there is no angry and brooding boy for me to love.

"hi!" i exclaim and find myself hugging her tightly before i get the chance to think anything else about colby and how desperately i wish he was with me right now. jakes right, this definitely isn't healthy. i should be able to live a day without him, i just don't want to.

"how are you? have you seen twitter?" she asks and i immediately cover my face in embarrassment.

"i was hoping you hadn't..." i trail off, referring to the amount of tweets that are going around about her and jake being together. damn you amara with the pink hair. i didn't think she'd actually tell everyone about julia's text on my phone, but that might've been extremely naive of me to assume.

"you accidentally showed my text to a fan who told the world!" she yells out dramatically, but i am thankful when i see her light hearted smile come out. i am so glad she doesn't hate me. her and jake are perfect together, because he did the exact same thing. always making jokes in uncomfortable situations.

"i wanted to talk to you about that... the jake thing?" i try to transition the topic of our conversation smoothly, but i find myself feeling awkward when she frowns at the mention of the boy. i watch as she sits next to katrina on the couch, and i follow her actions.

"i ran into mateo a week ago... and it's been messing with my head..." julia trails off in her explanation. mateo must be the ex she told me about before.

"what happened?" i ask, watching katrinas face form into one full of anger. am i missing something?

"he just asked if i wanted to go out sometime and catch up... i don't know. i really like jake, i'm just so scared of confessing my love and then mateo coming back into my life," she explains and i flash her a sympathetic smile. i have never had this problem with colby, since i don't have any exes. i can only imagine how it feels to have one walk back into your life as you start a new relationship. "what did mateo do?"

i know i almost don't want to know the answer to my question, but i can't stop myself from being curious enough to ask. it's so bad that just running into him has her questioning her obvious feelings for jake? i can't imagine someone having that sort of hold over me... other than colby, of course. i wish he wasn't in every thought of mine today. i wish i could have a conversation without every other sentence i speak reminding me of him somehow. even when it doesn't correlate one bit, he is my first thought.