It Will Rain

Doctor Roman

                                                                                               WILL

I was moved to a new room. One with a window. But, not surprisingly, it's barred. I have two roommates. I don't know them yet because after what happened I took my scheduled medication and went straight to sleep. I didn't fall asleep right away so I just laid in bed staring at the wall. My stuff was moved in here but I didn't have much. It was nicer though. Less quiet, but nicer. 

I felt numb when I woke. Like a zombie. I didn't get out of bed, I felt pinned to it by the reality that was crushing me. I'm on suicide watch. A worker comes in every 10 minutes to check on me. They're called check ins. I know that because every time they come in they say into their walky talky, "William Byers check in done." then they leave. It's annoying if you ask me.

I don't have that slipping feeling anymore. It'd different. It's.....nothing. Numb. As if I finally stopped slipping and fell off the edge. When the doctor came in to give us our medicine I ignored her until she tapped my shoulder, probably thinking I was asleep. I managed to roll over and sit up, swallow my pills then lay back down. All I wanted was sleep. The only feeling I had was this heavy numb. I swear, as if gravity was purposefully holding me down. 

I fell in and out of sleep, my roommates moved around a lot, left the room a lot but I never left. I refused to eat or take a walk around the hospital. Then the door opened and I heard rolling, like a stroller. "William." a nurse said. I shook my head. "William, come on. Doctor Roman wants to see you." her voice was soft and slow, like talking to a baby. It was relaxing. I rolled over to face the woman. She had curly red hair and was tall with long legs. I saw behind her there was a wheelchair. Great. I was going even if I didn't want to walk.

I got up and collapsed into the chair. She rolled me out the room and I could feel my roommates staring. As she rolled me down the hall I stared ahead, eyes half closed just listening to the distant sounds of voices and the rolling echoing off the cold white walls. Everything was shiny and white, they try to make this place so pretty to cover up for all the broken people they offer hospitality to. 

Others were also being rolled but just as I ignored them they ignored me. Somewhere farther than distant I heard crying. I mean wailing. It wasn't a long trip just some halls, an elevator than more halls. There was a big black door that stood out from all the other regular wood ones. I guess that was the point. There was a tag that said Dr. Roman in gold cursive. He must be a big deal. Doctor of all doctors.

She knocked and a feminine booming voice from inside announced that we could go in. The door opened and she rolled me in then left right away. Dr, Roman was a lady. She wasn't tall but she wasn't short. Her skin was tan and it looked way too natural to be from some cheap tan spray you get from a store or online. She had blonde hair pulled into a bun, some curls hanging loose. Her green eyes were focused on her computer screen as she quickly typed away with her perfectly manicured fingers.

After a few seconds she abruptly spun in her chair to face me. "Hello, William, I'm not going to start with the annoying question of "how are you feeling?" because I find it highly unintelligible for doctors to constantly ask a patient that same question numerous times when they obviously know the answer. You're in a mental hospital, no kid wants that, do they?"

I shook my head, unsure of what else to do. "Exactly. This is going to be different, I have too much experience to do the same irritating things other therapists do like how's your day and if your response is saddening i'm not gonna ask how that makes you feel I'm going to ask you to elaborate. Explain. Obviously if you said it as a bad thing it wouldn't make you happy. I also have a sharp eye for liars, trust me, do you know how many patients come in here and say they're fine and ready to go home when really they're still sick and unprepared?"