Him.

Kapitel Zwölf - Healing Wounds & Rising Feelings Pt. I

Hello everyone, sorry for such a long wait. With all this coronavirus craziness it was hard for us to find time for "Him." We're finally out of school and so we should be able to write chapters more regularly now.

Strangely enough, Seb and I were able to get away with keeping my treatment under reps--and yes, I did go through with his advice. We both know that I really need it. My depression is fortunately not an onslaught of terror, though when it strikes, it's quite crippling.

I guess it's really hard for me to trust people again. I have in the past and it just never works out. They either just used me for popularity, prestige, or money. The real "game changer" for me was Jeremiah.

He was a new kid in class...and naturally he intrigued me. I wanted to know who he was and what his story was (lol as stalkerish as that sounds). He was really different than the others too. For one, he was shorter than me--something atypical considering that I'm not of a very tall stature. But seriously though, he was a hard worker. Even if he wasn't the brightest bulb in the hardware store he tried his very best and I really appreciated the effort.

Unfortunately for him, he was paired with the most troublesome kid in our class, Noah. Now no hate on Noah but he just can't control his own strength--I guess he's kind of a muscle head in that way. But don't get me wrong, he's a total sweet heart! It's just that he doesn't use his brain before doing a lot of things that he does.

Anyways, having the reputation for being really careful and having finished my own project with my partner already, my teacher assigned me to that group which I fondly refer to as the "Demolition Squad." I didn't really pay much attention to Jeremiah at first--even though he did capture my interest. The only times I really interacted with them was when I yelled at Noah for doing something stupid--lol this is just how our relationship was. He'd do something dumb like break something and then I'd "yell" at him for it.

Though further into the quarter, Noah had to leave for a trip leaving Jeremiah alone without a partner. So instead of having to work with the three of them it was just the two of us. (A/N: Kudos for anyone who knows what song I'm referencing. You be cultured Boo.) It started out really normal. We engaged in small talk, nothing more nothing less. I didn't even think that he had any interest in me whatsoever. Actually, at the start it felt like I had to vie for his attention. I guess he was just excellent at concealing his emotions.

Like I mentioned what first drew me into Jeremiah was how I knew nothing about him. But as I worked with him and observed his interactions with others, I was pleasantly surprised to see how kind and chill he was. For example, whenever Noah would do something wrong Jeremiah wouldn't even get the slightest bit irritated. All he'd do was laugh it off. And maybe, I thought his laugh was cute. Okay scratch that.. really cute. Like even thinking about it now makes my heart flutter despite how rocky our relationship ended.

It's just...how he'd tilt his head back a little when he laughs. His eyes would slightly close and you'd see a genuine smile from him. It was breathtaking. Thank goodness that I was never handling anything dangerous when he did because I feel like I could've easily cut myself with a tool or something. His eyes were mesmerizing too. I didn't realize at first because they were dark brown--but as is typical with brown eyes, once the sunlight hit them I fell even harder for him. I don't know, there was just something so kind and inviting about them that wouldn't allow me to pull away. Before I go down that rabbit hole, I'll get back to the story.

So anyways, we never really talked outside of the class. And sometimes we wouldn't even talk at all. So I had no idea that he already had taken an interest in me as well. Where the rubber really hit the road in our story was when I gave him my number because I needed him to bring baking soda for the project we were working on. But that fell through when he forgot my number. In hindsight I probably should've wrote it down or something so that he wouldn't forget but I didn't want to come on too strong lol--even if it was literally something for class.

The next day, we tried again though this time I told him to just miss call himself on my phone so that my number. And when he did it, it was so cute. Our teacher actually caught us calling his phone lool but he couldn't say anything because it was passing period. So what Jeremiah did was that he called himself on my phone, but then our teacher walked it. Then our teacher proceeded to ask Jeremiah if he had lost his phone. Jeremiah was like "yeah...oh wait hold on." and then answered his phone on one ear and held mine in the other and then said, "Hello?" I don't know but I just found that incredibly cute and charming. I probably shouldn't be recounting these incidents because I might arouse old feelings and get heartbroken again but I can't help it. I prefer to see the good in people--I guess that's why I keep getting hurt. Even if they already show red flags, I look past them in effort to help them through their problems and become a better person...

After that, not much changed between us. He never did get back to me whether or not he was bringing the baking soda--don't worry though, I did give him a hard time about it. Naturally he just laughed it off an apologized but other than that nothing really happened between us. Noah came back and it was just business as usual.

X X X X

Hey everyone, sorry for cutting it off at such a weird spot but I just realized that this chapter is getting rather long and I know that long chapters aren't always enjoyable. The story between Jeremiah and Lavender is a true story of someone we both know. They actually just broke up a couple days ago so if y'all could share some support and stuff it'd be amazing. (If you haven't gotten it yet, we're talking about my twin.)

Much love,

Dia.