Him.

Kapitel Dreizehn - Healing Wounds & Rising Feelings Pt. II

We're picking up speed guys.

X X X X

I honestly thought that'd be the end of it. That Jeremiah and I would never be anything more than acquaintances. But that idea was struck down during spring break. One day as I was working on some applications for the summer, I got a text. From Jeremiah.

At first I didn't think much of it. I figured that he was bored and just needed someone to talk to. That's usually how it worked for everyone who contacted me. They don't ever really want to talk to me, but rather are obligated to in order to do so because of homework or are so bored out of their mind that they decided to hit me up. I didn't want to seem desperate so I didn't pester him with too many texts.

But then the next day he texted. The day after that, he waited me to text first. Then the day after that he texted me. At that point I figured out that he may be slightly interested in me. That hypothesis was validated when he told me that he'd let me do his makeup and was super excited as to when I could do it.

Now I know you may think, Lav, he's gay, girl. But no he wasn't, lol trust me he wasn't. Not even bi because he made that glaringly clear to me one day I was messing with him. (A/n No hate to the LGBTQ+ community, this is just how the story goes. I love y'all.) It was just really intriguing because he would keep bringing it up and saying how excited he was for me to do it.

I don't really want to go down that road, as nice as memory lane is so I'll cut this recollection somewhat short. My suspicions were correct and he did in fact like me. He actually eventually told me that he wanted to be then one and only man in my life--something I'm definitely not ready for. For goodness sake I haven't even had a boyfriend before him and him telling me that was definitely an eye opener.

At first this feeling of like wasn't mutual, as I believed our relationship was platonic. I even told him that I didn't feel the same but he still persisted. With time, I decided what the heck, I'll give him a chance. He was always very kind and funny so I figured it wouldn't really hurt. Little did I know that I would be so wrong.

My feelings for him came swiftly and took me out legs first. I didn't really realize that I liked him so much until our relationship was threatened to fall apart because of problems we had. And boy did we have problems. Honestly, we fought about so many things that I can hardly remember what...I think that the reason why we didn't work out was because we didn't truly know each other.

As much as I wanted to take it slow, he had already been down this lane and dated girls before me, so he just wanted to go straight into it. Yeah it did concern me that there were times where I felt like he didn't care to really get to know me and so I'd literally ask to play 20 questions with him just to get to know him a little more.

As time passed it seemed like my hypothesis was correct because he'd get angry about things that I just naturally do. For example, he couldn't stand how random I was. He called it, "changing the subject," whilst I just felt like that was just who I was. I get distracted extremely easily but I still want to talk about stuff. If you take too long to reply to our current topic then naturally I will bring something up to try to arouse a reaction for you. This is especially the case if I think of something funny, though he never really appreciated that.

Our relationship became really rocky the longer we were at it. It seemed as if after we got into a fight and finally got it resolved, we'd just find ourselves in another one the next day. I mean, I'm no stranger to arguments because that's literally all we do in my family but this was just over the top. What was worse was that he wouldn't accept any responsibility during the arguments. And if I tried to tell him my thoughts and opinions he'd think I was trying to fight him. Long story short, it was a toxic relationship. I think he wanted more from me than what I could offer. And even after I told him that, all he did was blame me for all the problems we had. I thought he was an amazing person--the things he'd say...he...he just knew exactly what to say and when to say it. I guess mom was right. You should avoid the boys that seem to know exactly what to do. But unfortunately my heart was too blind to see that and we both got hurt.

X X x X

Ooof. Guyssssss. Sorry we didn't update too regularly, for some reason our reminder to update disappeared. Also these are really fresh wounds for Dia and so it was really hard for us to get this chapter up. She's only now started to really feel better but there are definitely some harder times.

We love you guys and hope you're all doing well,

Kat & Dia