Ourselves : A BL Horror Novel

Ch 12 : Death in Dreams

Zhao slept in his bed. His body dressed in a large white cotton shirt, and white boxers, beneath warm white cotton sheets. His black horn rimmed glasses bobbed out in the ocean, never to be seen by him again. But they would be found and worn by a tall young woman one day later. She would find her blurred vision forever changed by his strong prescription. While he would find himself stumbling about until his pride was wounded enough to see an optometrist. But for now he slept. And in his dreams he sat in a small dark room. The room was vacant of any furniture that wasn't illuminated in the light shining in the center.

There was no door, no windows, only an ornate table made of human bone. The bones were clean of all blood, their pearl white color shined in the light. Bones from arms and legs were tied with red strings looped several times at intersections. On top of four tied pillars of bone a green pane of glass cut into a perfect circle lay. Above it a short black cord hung from the ceiling and attached to it was a lit light bulb.

Zhao had sat in the corner, his long thin limbs wrapped around himself as tears fell from his eyes like rain. The reason, for his tears sat on center of the glass circle. The severed head of Retsuko sat upright by her neck. Her half halo face perfect, as if she weren't dead. Her long dark hair fell freely around her pale creme skin and hung lifeless off the glass. Her dark eyes on her child, disapprovingly watching him cower in fear. Her mouth moving rapidly but no sound came out. Her small button nose flared as her anger and exasperation marred the beautiful face making her look sinister and aggrieved. Zhao was trapped in this dream with his mother's silent fury, wishing to God he could awake. But the dream wasn't over yet.

Even without vocal chords or air inside her lack of lungs. Zhao heard her strong voice in his head. Each syllable drenched in disapproval and shame and anger. He had tried sticking his fingers in his ears but gave up when he realized that her voice was directly in inside his mind.

"How can you be so weak? You're my child, my lovely boy and you try to kill yourself! Even your own death is something you fail at! Come to me Zhao, show me the face of my greatest love, my greatest failure."

Zhao tried in vain to make himself as small as possible. He curled into a tight ball, his arms around his legs.

"Zhao, if you eat me, we can be together forever." Retsuko stated calmly, all the anger gone from her voice. Zhao froze in his rocking back and forth as the heinous sentence struck him as hard as a slap to the face. Mechanically he turned slowly looking at the table with panic filled eyes.

"You love me, don't you?" Retsuko asked softly

".....yes..." Zhao whispered against the skin of his arms.

"Then come and show me your love, eat me and live with me inside you, never abandoning you again. I can make you stronger, I can make you whole." The calm voice said with a hint of welcoming in every word. Zhao turned back to the corner and lowered his head in his arms.

"Did you know, how much leaving you with that man pained me." Retsuko lamented, her voice pitiful and still. Zhao nodded remembering his mother's eyes the day Emily had received him and not her. Those tears.

"We have this chance, to be together again. Mother and Child, never separated. Why can't you see that?" Retsuko asked pleading

"I can't eat you Mother! You're my mom!" Zhao shouted in disgust as he rose from the corner and faced her. His long fingers curled into fists. His large almond eyes open and stairing at the head of his mother. She looked back at him with hurt in those eyes.

"You're acting human again, you're not and neither am I. We are Demons, we take our dead into ourselves and gain power from their flesh. Have you forgotten your nature?" Retsuko asked. As she spoke her voice grew in volume till it was almost deafening inside Zhao's mjnd. He had dropped to his knees then. He cradled himself as a wave of hunger filled him. The feeling burned beneath his skin, inside his veins, as if his blood were boiling. He cried out as he shook his head. The power of his mother's words resonating inside him.