Ourselves : A BL Horror Novel

Chapter 16: Part 1 - A Loving Lie

The moon was full and bright as it looked down on the two lovers who walked through the silent garden. The smells of Honeysuckle and Roses intermingled making a deep, sweet scent mixing with the fresh rain. Zhao loved the fragrance but as his bare feet felt the damp grass and cool earth beneath him, he could only think of the young quiet woman to his left. She seemed to be thinking something and it worried him, the places her thoughts could go. They passed benches carved out of stone, cherry trees they used to run around as children. They moved silently under the stars and moon keeping themselves to themselves. It felt strange to him, being close to the person he had known since he was a boy and feeling so estranged from her. It was as if they had died at some point over the summer and come back to life strangers.

"Something bothering you?" Estelle asked, her voice heavy with emotion and it had come so suddenly that he stopped walking. She took two more silent steps before doing the same. 

"I don't know how to answer that." Zhao said looking into those blue eyes. When she had left for Japan, he hadn't been happy with her decision. She had refused him going, stated it was her journey. He hadn't understood it then and she had refused to explain. Any message he had sent got no reply and after a week he had stopped. Even on the day of his birthday, he hadn't seen a word  nor gotten a phone call it was if he were truly alone. 

"You could be honest. You always were... before." She said and smiled that old smile, when they were children it meant she was challenging him. But now as adults it almost felt mockingly condescending. 

"Do you want to tell me what you did in Japan? Where you went and who you saw while there for months? Why I couldn't go?" He said back with a tone of annoyance. He knew he was being baited, could feel the imaginary hook of her smile and like a fool he was once again rushing into her challenge. 

"I went to Japan to learn things and understand my place in my families' business. Who I saw were their associates and affiliates and why you didn't go is because you would have been bored out of your skull." Estelle said as she turned away from him and leaned into a rose near her eye level and smelled it. 

"Why didn't you say that before you left?" Zhao asked in a huff, he folded his arms over his chest and watched her. 

"You rarely listen when you aren't getting your way." Estelle retorted as she plucked the rose from the bush and began to slowly pluck petals from it. 

"You haven't changed. Any time you walk into a room, everything in it is yours to use, or destroy." Zhao spoke as he looked at the petals falling to the grass. 

"That's one of the things you love about me. And like you're any different, admit it Bunny." Estelle teases as she pointed the last petal at him that hung from the rose. He smiled at her as he plucked the last petal and in a swift movement pulled her against him. His lips pressing to hers as the plucked rose stem fell to the grass. As he opened his mouth and slipped his tongue past her lips he could taste her on it. 

He Could feel the familiar warmth of her body pressed against him. It had been so long since she had been near him. As she kissed him back he thought about her question. Were they the same, had the cafe date or whatever it was been him acting as if everything in it was his. The man he had kissed when he should have stopped it. He imagined Keaton's dark eyes, the taste of chocolate, those strong hands on his arms. He hadn't thought of the woman in his arms when he'd done that. Coming up for air he held her against him, Their breathing short and deep as they both enjoyed each other's warmth. 

"What was the verdict?" Zhao asked, looking at the discarded stem and ripped clean bulb. 

"That you love me," Estelle breathes into his t-shirt and Zhao nodded but kept his eyes closed.  His dark bangs falling down around his nose. He breathed her in, her skin smelled of vanilla soap and rose petals. He kissed the top of her head and tried his best to banish all thoughts of that crazy man from his head. His brown eyes and big mouth, those long strong arms and that smell of grass and sweat and coffee.