Unreasonable Feelings

chapter 3

~ chapter 3 ~

~ revealing the truth ~

“Brit! Wag mona ulit akong ewan please. Diko na kaya pa na muling mag-isa.” pag susumamo ko kay Brit habang hinahalikan ko sya sa mga labi.

Tinutugon nya naman yong bawat halik ko saka binitawan at nagsalita.

“Di na kita iiwan pang muli Aloida, sorry. Nabubulag lang talaga ako sa pagmamahal ni Ajeckiel. I thought he was serious but he wasn't. And he also said that "his feelings for me is just only infatuation" dahilan para muntikan ko nang kitilin ang buhay ko. Sumama sya sa taong diko alam, sumama sya sa taong iyon dahil mahal nya, e samantalang ako iniwan nyang wasak na wasak at labis na nasaktan, that day parang wala na ako sa katinuan all I wanted is to kill my own useless fucking life, I've been so desperate for begging any chances from him but he wasn't, he ignored me. He's so heartless. Things become worst when my own family turns back on me and never help me to get away from that so much breakdown and depression. I thought it's like I'm in the middle of the quicksand who's slowly eat my whole self. Malaki ang tinanim kong galit para sa sarile. At dala narin sa kadepresan ininom ko lahat ang gamot na for mental health. Buntis ako non at bawal ang uminom ng kung ano anong mga gamot. But I don't care about myself, I don't fucking care.” suminghap sya habang pinapahiran ang mga luhang namumuo sa kanyang mga mata bago nagpatuloy.

“But God have mercy on me, dahil nailigtas ako ni Pauline kaya tanging ang munting sanggol lang ang nakuha sakin. Alam moba Aloida kung gaano ko pinagsisisihan ang ginawang pang hihiwalay sayo? At gaano kasakit ang mawalan ng isang anak? Parang milyon milyong karayom at kutsilyong humiwa at tumusok sa puso ko.” humikbi na talaga sya habang habol ang hiningang umiiyak at sumisinghot.

I feel pity on her. Ako din naman e may kasalanan rin. Kasi diko sya naipaglaban sa mga magulang ko. Kung naipaglaban kolang sana sya hindi na sana pa naging ganito ang naging takbo ng mga buhay namin.

“.....P–para akong kriminal bunch. Para akong kriminal na pumapatay sa sarile kong anak.” hagolhol nya.

Niyakap ko sya at pinapakalma. It's been a long time to caressed her again like this and I missed it so damn much.

“Sorry.” it's almost a whisper but I still heard it clearly.

“Sshhh!. Please don't blame yourself baby.” I said calmly and kissing her forehead.

Hinayaan kolang syang humikbi sa balikat ko. I can't stand with this scenario and I can't stand if without her!.

Without her? Seriously without her? Is she my life? Protesta ng ibang side ko.

“Briiitttt!.....” The angry voice of man echoed a meters away.

May hawak itong bata.

We both frantically and got shock while looking at the man walk towards us.

Kumalas sya galing sa pagkakayakap ko.

Realization suddenly pop in my mind when Brit act nervously as the man looked evilly at her.

Nilapitan si Brit ng lalaki sabay hila ng malakas.

“Are you trying to escape from me Brit? Ha? Are you fucking crazy?.. tatakasan mo ba kami ng anak natin? What an irresponsible mother and wife you are? haven't you feel contentment from me as your husband? And still crazily trying choose that fucking lesbian over me? Fuck! ” Sigaw nong lalaki.