I Hate that I loveYou!

How we met

How I met Carnell is kind of crazy.
I whooped his ass.
My name is Tyra Simpkins and I was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois.
Now if you don't know.WE don't play. My moms sister Amber had died and left us a big ass house in Pasadena, California.Which we gladly took since we lived in a small ass 1 bedroom apartment.

Yea, my mom and I were struggling. In 3rd grade I was pretty much taking care of myself. My mom working two jobs, so some days I wouldn't even see her. That house stayed clean, my grade were straight A's and I made sure to leave my mom notes everyday telling her I loved her on bedroom door. I was a perfect child.

We flew to California because, apparently my aunt was rich. She had so much money for us set aside. Which was funny because I never even knew I had and aunt. I didn't know family except my mom. She was all I had. Well like I said we flew to Cali. We left sold everything we had. Which wasn't a lot. We went down there with nothing,but the clothes on our back.

I ain't gonna lie Pasadena is way dope. Hell I'm a senior now and I still can't believe I live here. When you go from rags to riches, you never quite let go of your rag. Because you know that your rich is only temporary.

So this is when Carnell came into my life.

My mom had bought me some better looking clothes and a bike. Yea, in Chi Town you really couldn't ride a bike as a kid unless you wanted to get snatched up. So, I was having fun riding my bike up and down the street. Until this little boy on his bike started following me. I wasn't about to get snatched up. So, I hopped off my bike and stood in the grass. Another thing I didn't see much of in Chicago.

"May I help you." I asked him. He had jumped off his bike also.

"Are you hurt?" He had asked me.

"Nah, I'm straight."I put my hand on my hip.

"Really, cause your face fucked up." I rolled my eyes, punched him in the face and continued til I got tired. Then I got back on my bike and took off towards my new home. I wasn't taking any disrespect. "Hey, wait I was kidding." The boy yelled from where he was standing. But I didn't care. I was going home.

I stayed inside the house for the rest of the day. My mom came home a little later and played with me for a while. Then there was a knock on the door. Mom went to answer it. I followed her like a shadow. When she opened the door there was a tall Mexican lady.

"Hello, my name is True Santana, and this is my son,Carnell. We are your new neighbors. "

"Hey, I'm Milo Mitchell and this is my daughter, Tyra." I shook Mrs. Santana's hand and looked at the boy. It was the dude I had just beat up. He had a busted lip and a black eye.

"What happened to your face?" I asked him knowing I caused all that damage.

"He plays so rough, all the boys in this neighborhood are rough," Mrs.Santana tried to explain. I mean of course he's not going to tell his mom he got beat up by the new girl.

"Would you like to come in True?"my mother asks. "Oh heavens no, I have to go to a meeting in a few. I just didn't want Carnell to play by himself while I was gone. Your daughter is more than welcome to come and play at our house."

"Thank you Mrs. Santana," I told her nicely. Momma also told me to use my manners. "I have to clean up what I messed up here first though."

"Well, ok Ms. Tyra and Mrs. Mitchell."

"It's actually Ms.Mitchell I didn't marry Tyra's dad."

"I understand completely. I'm a single parent myself. Well, as I said before Tyra is free to come by any time." She kissed Carnell and hopped into her blue Mini Cooper.

"Tyra how about you and Carnell play outside, while I take a nap." Momma said as she was pushing me out the door. I didn't want to play with him. I hated him. He was rude and disrespectful.

"I have you clean up momma," I explained to her. She gave me THE look. You know that look that says "shut the fuck up or imma beat your ass". I looked down at the ground and walked outside.

"So, what do you want to play," Carnell said grabbing my hand. I yanked my hand away from him.

"Nothing, I don't like you. I don't want to play with you either. Just....just leave me alone." I sat on my front steps and played with rock. I drew shapes with it, just to pass time.

"Why, don't you like me," Carnell asked.

"You called me ugly and I don't even know you. Why would you even say that? I'm clearly pretty. What's your problem?"

"My older brother Sam said that if you think a girl is cute, you insult her first, to make her doubt herself then you kiss her to make her love you."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"No, it's not. My brother is very smart."

"Ok, well where is your brother now so I can tell him how dumb he is?" I asked him standing up.

"He's dead."Carnell looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry, how did he die? " I asked him sitting down again. Carnell sat down with me.

"Gang violence." Now I didn't believe him. I rolled my eyes.

"Gang violence...this neighborhood has gang violence?"

"No, I used to live in Compton."

"Sorry I can't picture your mom-"

"She not my mom" Carnell stood up again and yelled.

"But she said she was, " I was so confused.

"She adopted me 2 years ago." Now I understood my friend Tish back in Chicago was put in foster care because her dad was a perv and used to beat her. So I decided to change the subject.

"Oh, so your brother....was he nice?"

"He was cool, he took care of me when our mom killed herself. "

"Sorry, I didn't know."

"It's ok,"

"No it's not. Here," I said giving him a kiss on the lips. "Maybe your brother is right. Maybe one day I will fall in love with you." I started blushing. Carnell was my first kiss. Turns out over the next few years he will be my first everything.