Should I Tell

Blood Runs Thin

"NO NO NO!!!! This can't be!! Oh my God I can't be pregnant...my parents what am I supposed to tell them. I have hardly spoken to them these last few months they think it's a teenage stage but I just don't feel right when they don't know anything about the 'thing'. What am I supposed to do," I weeped. Chase cooed me, "Shhh...it's okay. Maybe your not even pregnant...maybe you're just late."
"No I'm never ever late my period is always on time."
Well...there's one way to find out for sure, I can take you if you'd like?"
I look at him quizzically and quietly speak, "Why are you being so nice to me and comforting? You don't even know me...and now you're offering to take me to go get a pregnancy test?"
"Not every guy in this generation has to be or is a dick you know. But if you really must know this isn't our first time meeting...I've loved you ever since I always told myself no matter what you would be the girl I wanted.
"It was spring and it was hot and my family was visiting here for family and we decided to go to the waterpark. Well my older brother wanted to do the slides with my dad, but I wanted to sit in the lazy river....there was one raft left and it was a two seater and I remember a little girl tapping my shoulder asking boldly if I had a friend to relax with, after telling her no she sat with me and we say there talking having fun she told me her name was Ally and after that we it icecream, do you remember that!?"
"Strangely yes I do, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you...ugh what is happening to me!?"
Silence hung per us for a few minutes then I looked at him and asked, "Did you mean it earlier? About taking me to get the tester!?"
He didn't even answer he just stood up, lifted me up and walked me back to the car and drove to the store.

After purchasing the tester we both agreed we couldn't go to my house so we would go to his and so we did, now we sit on his bed waiting for the results the instructions said pee on the tip then wait 10-15 minutes. It has been 8 minutes since I peed on it. I don't know what I will do if I'm actually pregnant. Chase just soothed me by rubbing my back and causing me to relax. Next thing I knew it had been 12 minutes and I was up and in the his bathroom. My hands were trembling I was so scared...but I had to find out I flipped it over...

I fell to the ground sobbing...no this can't be happening...no no no! I can't be carrying his baby no...Chase heard the thump and ran in panicked by seeing me on the ground covered in tears he looked at it and knelt beside me picked me up and cradled me in his arms. About 20 minutes later I calmed down enough to talk and I asked, "What am I supposed to do? Do I have it and give it up for adoption or...?"
"What!? Abortion!? No you can't do abortion please no don't the baby is innocent it's a little being growing inside of you it's a beautiful thing..."
I spit, "Yeah maybe when it is willing...I'm too young to be a mother Chase I'm all alone I can't raise a child and keep me in good conditions..."
"Yes you can you're strong I know you can...and you won't be alone I'll help you through this I promise. I also promise I'm going to get that bastard who did this to you."
"You aren't the father, you aren't even my boyfriend..."
"Will you allow me to be your boyfriend? Ally I love you and everything about you, will you have me?"
"Chase..."
"Please just try it, if you still don't want to after a month okay I'll be outta your hair and just a friend I promise...please."
"...okay, I'll try it."
"Thank you!"
"Don't hurt Jake what he did was bad but I want no harm to him...he is the father of my....my...." I sobbed
"Child," Chase finishes
I nod
"Ally, don't be ashamed you being pregnant in such a circumstance isn't the greatest way but babies are still just as precious nobody's ready to be a teen mother but...I think you can do it. What if it's a girl and she's just like you? Or a baby boy? You just raise them right make sure they know right from wrong and you're doing good. Ally you can do this, we can do this. I promise I'm not going anywhere until you want me to."
That being said....I knew I had to tell my parents....but I can't help it the dark seems to always find me and consume me. It's chanting 'Do it' 'It's an abomination you're doing the world a favor' 'It won't even feel it'. Now louder the shadows in the darkness scream Do It! Faster and faster louder and louder everything gets dizzy I hear Chase say my name and tell me to stop...what is he talking about what am I doing!? I shake off all my thoughts I'm in Chase's bathroom he's banging on the door screaming, "Ally!? What's wrong!? Why are you sorry!? What are you doing!? Let me in please."
It's too late...I must've in admissibly taken some blood thinners, I have to keep them with me for when I get sick ever since the accident. I didn't just swallow one or two I swallowed half the bottle along with some Vicodin from my knee surgery when I was 12 I still have the pills I never cleaned out my purse. Oh no what did I do!? I don't want to die...maybe I do. Maybe it's for the best....NO! I feel dizzy and faint I unlock the door and as soon as it opens I fall Chase catches me before I hit the ground he sees the bottles reads them screams, "NO NO NO!" I start to feel cold and see a light this must be it. I must be dying. Then I feel pounding on my chest. I don't feel anything thanks to the Vicodin. I taste blood coming up my mouth and then clumpy stuff and u throw up the pills. Chase pulls me into an embrace. I tell him, "I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to...I didn't even know what I was doing I was in a daze. It was like it wasn't even me I'm so sorry."
Then all the sudden I feel exhausted.
"Chase...I don't feel do well I feel dizzy and tired..." Out I went swallowed up by the darkness once again...I vow one day I will brighten up this dark place and shut down!