A Collection of Short DBZ Stories

Royalty

Artist: salvamakoto
Scenario: Vegeta & Chichi actually get along??

He didn't mean to see the paperwork but if he was invited to the Son home he supposed it was inevitable. "You dropped this." The ex-prince said as politely as possible and Chichi was quick to grab the sheet.

"Oh! Thank you." She smiled sweetly before shoving it in a folder and depositing it on the bookshelf.

He didn't want to pry, especially since she just got done complaining about how stressed she was since her father's death. Vegeta knew she was a princess, so she must have some government experience, anyway. However, being thrown back into such a complex system could be quite troublesome and he thought he could be of some use. "What's that paper for anyway?"

"Ugh, another affair my dad left me that I have to fix." Chichi set a few glasses down along with a pitcher of lemonade. "Another kingdom wants to merge with us but they've been imposing these huge tariffs on us for years. So naturally, I don't want 'em but they sent us this stupid letter saying they'll forcibly take over."

"So tell them to fuck off." The ex-prince said while sipping his drink.

"Pfft! I wish but they have a stronger army than us."

"Do you know what tactics they use?" Of course, someone as arrogant as Vegeta didn't suspect Chichi would know such a thing but testing her wasn't a bad idea.

"Mainly guerilla warfare, and militia men and-"

"Cowardly tactics where their government doesn't have to get their hands dirty?"

"Pretty much!" The princess rolled her eyes and carefully placed a tray of cookies onto the table.

Though the saiyan was quite comfortable with Earth's peace, he had to admit he missed plotting war. Plus, it had been awhile since he talked politics with someone and it was refreshing to engage. "What do you use?"

"We try to aim for limited war-keep as many civilians out of it as possible. Unfortunately, my father supported one of our allies in some civil war and now we're low on funds."

"If you raise taxes on your people, I'm sure that'll give you some leverage. Plus, if you start imposing tariffs on those other bastards that can help."

As Goku and Bulma grabbed a few snacks, both of them were in awe of their conversation. Chichi sat herself down and threw him a curious look. "Vegeta, you used to rule your planet?"

"Hmph. No, I never got the chance but my father taught me the important shit."

"Yeah, me too." She smiled at the memory of her father sitting her on his lap and explaining the history of the small kingdom as well as the laws and edicts put into place. Despite this, the economy wasn't something she kept in touch with and if she could get a fresh opinion on the topic that would be more than helpful. "Would you mind readin' a bit of what they've demanded?"

"Demanded? Just who do these asses think they are? Hand it over."

And so, the two royals gathered pens and paper and began to discuss taxes, history, and Vegeta's personal favorite; military strategy. No leaf was left unturned, but two separate leaves felt rather left out.

"Yo Bulma, how did this happen?" Goku leaned back in his chair and starred at his best friend with confusion written all over his face. "Just a few hours ago, Chichi was complainin' to me about how Vegeta is so grumpy."

"Me too!" The woman shot the saiyan a surprised expression before putting on her best Vegeta impression. "He was going on about how he only wanted to come for the food! Oh and, if I hear Kakarot's woman complain I'm going to leave blah blah I'm so stubborn!"

Goku broke into a smile before chipping in with his own story. "Same here. Chichi said; I love Bulma but would it kill Vegeta to be less cranky! He looks so icy I'm surprised his face hasn't split into two!"

"Ahaha! I can totally see Chichi saying that. But look at them now, talking like they're actually friends."

The pair stopped in their teasing and watched as their spouses collaborated. "Yeah, ain't they cute? Actually, just Chichi but y'know what I mean."

Suddenly the usually reasonable Chichi slammed her fist against the table. "That oughta do it! I should've thought to ask money from them."

"It's not asking, it's collecting what's owed to you. Remember that." The ex-prince declared confidently. "Then if you cut some funding from the bigger agricultural businesses you'll not only meet the budget but give those farmers some financial responsibility, which can benefit you in the future."

"Right! Now I just wanna go over rebuilding the army."

"Start by giving the frontmen a bonus. No man willingly lays down his life without incentive." There was some deliberation over how the enemy would attack. Their fingers danced upon the map with all its fancy writings until it was the usually stoic Vegeta who gave a triumphant shout. "Those fuckers won't know what hit them."

As cheers, curses, and triumphs were shared between the unlikely pair, Bulma couldn't help but notice; "Oh yeah, he's getting way too into this."

The younger saiyan didn't see the harm until it was his own, usually clean mouthed wife who shouted. "Yeah, we'll show them that they've been fucking with the wrong people!"

Goku inhaled deeply. Yeah, he was used to her fierceness but hearing that curse word was unprecedented. "Bulma, I'm scared. How do we stop this?"

"I...don't know." The shock was still coursing through Bulma's brain. "Let's just nod our heads along. Y'know, don't excite them any more."

The martial artist stood carefully. "Anddd back away slowly cause this has nothing to do with us."

"Hey! Wait for me!" She called after her best friend who was already out of the kitchen with a full tray of cookies to match.

3.22.20-3.24.20