TeamFortress2's New Addition

Chapter Fifty-One

You stayed curled up with your cheeks to your knees long after his heavy footsteps faded down the hall. Was it true? No, it... wasn't? What he said was right, so why did it hurt so much to hear? Do I really treat them like my therapist?

You absentmindedly picked at the end of your pants. Does this stupid shit not matter? It matters to me... but I seem to care about a lot of useless crap. No, it's just what this one guy says... whose opinion you trust, unfortunately. Maybe it's just his opinions talking? No, well, maybe. I'll be fine. No, I won't be fine and I feel terrible and I can't do this- NO! Thinking that way is a choice, no matter how impulsive it is, damn it! It never ends well, so just... stop.

You relaxed your shoulders. I can grow from this. I know now that despite how it feels right now, I'll be okay. I'm strong and I work well under pressure... I think. We'll find out soon. Okay. Are we okay? We'll see. Wipe up your tears, maggot. You let out a small huff as a tentative smile creeped its way onto your lips after using Soldier's catchphrase. Using your shirt, you wiped your tears away and stretched your legs out. You stretched downward and imagined your emotions washing away down a drain.

Then, you stood up and stretched the rest of your body. I am okay. This needs to be a conscious choice not to let what Engineer said affect me. It isn't a conscious choi- Well! I'm making it one.

You made your way to your bathroom and washed your face. You were careful with the soap this time, but it only reminded you about the last time you cleaned your face after crying. Well, the past doesn't matter. I mean, the past as a whole matters to learn about our history, but things change. What Engineer did then was certainly not what he did now. That means he has it in him to be both of those people. Nice to know.

You dried yourself off and studied your face in the mirror. See? We may have bags, bitch, but we still look good. You shook your hair and smiled, clutching it in your hands before letting it drop. We're cute!

You turned and glanced up and down your body, smiling. What's funny, is if this happened like two days earlier, this would be going differently. Sure, if Engineer doesn't want to hear about my problems- as he puts it -then fine. I still have other people to talk to.

A sudden desire to change your clothes had you switching your tear-stained shirt for a new one. You gently put it on and slapped your stomach for no reason, laughing. You checked the time and saw it was 4:48 PM. I should really do some school prep. You sat in your chair in the most dramatic way possible just to please yourself, smiling as you turned the computer on. You know? The more I think about it, I should be the one feeling sorry for Engineer. I don't know what he's going through to make him lash out like that, but maybe... maybe he'll want to talk about it.

About two hours into your study-sesh neck-deep in the metrical feet of a poem and your music playlist, you hear knocks at your door. Thankfully, you had just figured out what an iambic tetrameter is, so you felt ready for the test. Granted, there is no actual test because you aren't enrolled anywhere, but it's okay! You weren't as stressed out as you could've been.

You triumphantly closed your computer screen and skipped over to the door. You opened it without skipping a beat and found Engineer with his mouth partly open as if he was about to say something. You smiled wavered slightly seeing him, but he clamped his mouth shut and let his expression become sour and closed off. Sure, you weren't exactly expecting it so it caught you off guard, but that's okay.

"Dinner's ready," Engineer reported and walked off before you could respond. You nodded at his back and gently closed your bedroom door behind you. You followed Engineer at a distance and made your way to the kitchen. Smelling the food made you realize you forgot to eat lunch, and you picked up the pace to the line. Entering the kitchen you discovered whoever cooked set up a "make your own sandwich" kind of deal. You hurried to get in line, and Scout followed close behind.