Kung Fu vs. Hoodlum

The Hoodlum Massacre

A hoodlum was guarding a portion of the street where two masked menaces were beating up an elderly lady. One of the punks wielded a pipe, and the other goon used the woman's cane to aid in the assault. The guard thought he could keep vigilantes away, but he was not prepared for Mr. Lu. The kung fu hero used the Xing Yi Quan water fist to drive a rising punch up through the hoodlum's chin. The force generated by Lu's body was more than sufficient to tear the opponent's head off at the neck and send it flying to where the other two punks were attacking the old person.

As the masked head landed and rolled to a stop, the elderly lady saw it and cheered. "Hurray! Praise Buddha for sending a warrior of justice to rescue me!"

One of the hoodlums ceased the assault and said to the head, "Zeke, where is your body? You never go anywhere without it."

Just then, Mr. Lu cartwheeled onto the scene and quickly set up his camera on its tripod nearby. He struck a few kung fu poses. "This jerk's head was removed by the power of Xing Yi Quan," he then turned to the camera and gave a smug grin, "and by the power of a future kung fu movie action star!"

Angela casually walked up and gave the command, "Cyber Sister, play 'Steine sind Steine' by And One."

The robot appeared, and the dance music began.

"Ah! We must set off a flare!" The hoodlums abandoned their old lady project, and one of them lit a spray paint can and threw it into the air, where it erupted into a colorful explosion. This signal summoned about a hundred other hoodlums to pour into the streets. They were all armed with knives, chains and blackjacks.

"Ha!" Mr. Lu was not even slightly intimidated. "Cyber Sister, you might want to pick up that camera so you can keep me on film. This is gonna get kinetic!"

The kung fu man and the pretty goth lady boldly advanced forward to do what needed to be done for justice and for a promising portfolio. No matter which beat the song was on, Angela intercepted incoming strikes even on the microbeats by dashing in and pummeling each pressure point until reaching the jaw, the throat or the solar plexus to put the opponent on the ground.

Mr. Lu utilized smart footwork and his crane wings to stop wrists from bringing dangerous weapons any closer. Upon stopping the attack, he used a Xing Yi Quan shuffle followed by one of the five basic element fists to incapacitate each opponent. However, since many of the hoodlums were using deadly weapons, the kung fu man saw the need to finish each enemy with a lethal strike. He would stomp many grounded adversaries' throats to collapse the trachea, and he would ensure that other opponents fell in a way that would fracture their skulls.

The duo of fighters overcame each one of the hundred hoodlums that dared set foot in that part of Jingdian that day. Even the armament of knives granted no advantage over Mr. Lu's extensive knowledge of internal kung fu and Angela's fast, rhythmic strikes of the Groove Leopard. Once the streets seemed to be clean, the two warriors saw before them one last adversary.

A muscular man clothed in black was spray painting a wall. His hood was up, and many sharp studs could be seen on his forearms and on his boots. He noticed the presence of the two fighters behind him, so he turned around. His face was covered with a spiky respirator and a pair of black goggles that had silly-looking eyes spray painted onto them.

"Hyuh, hyuh, hyeh, hyuh, hyuh!" This large hoodlum sounded like he had just lost his sanity. "You're pretty good at fighting street toughs who blindly charge at you with weapons swinging, but you will not defeat me!" He waved his arms around and staggered into some clumsy-looking attempts at kung fu poses. "I know kung fu!"

"Your form lacks refinement!" Mr. Lu confidently stepped forward. "It is as an ore that has yet to meet a blacksmith." He proceeded to look directly at the camera while speaking and doing some Ba Gua Zhang steps. "But my form knows the blacksmith well, and my hammer will refine you down to nothing. Are you ready for the furnace of my fist?"