THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY BOOK TWO (I'll Never Love Again) (girlxgirl)

CH.EIGHT

Human beings, we have dark sides; we have dark issues in our lives. To progress anywhere in life, you have to face your demons.

_John Noble

BELLE'S POV

"Can we talk," I managed to say after a long while. I had been contemplating for at least an hour and a half whether or not I should put Jaycey's number in my phone. I had also took another hour after saving her number, trying to figure out which was appropriate between texting and calling. I ended up picking the latter because I wanted to hear her voice.

"Uhm yeah," she answered, "Are you alright?"

No I wasn't alright. I was mentally ill, I was a fucked up wreck. I hated this, I hated my life.

"I'm alright."

I eyed the bottle of vodka that was beside me on the bed. I longed to quench my sorrows but at the moment speaking with Jaycey quenched every need I had so the alcohol could wait. I looked at the time, noticing that it was around midnight. I wondered why Jaycey was still up. Had she been waiting to hear from me? That was an ubsurd thought, what benefit would it be to wait up for me to text or call.

"Why are you still up? Is your hus-- Eric...home?," I voiced out my thoughts.

She hesitated before answering, "I'm alone. I couldn't sleep."

"Are you alright?," it was my turn to ask her now. I felt bad for her, for everything that I was putting her through. I knew without a doubt that she couldn't sleep because everything from the past was haunting her. She was afraid, but so was I.

"I'm okay."

A silence befell us then. I had so much to say but at the moment it seemed like every last bit of words I had vanished. I wondered what she was thinking, was she at a loss of words like me or was she just waiting for me to speak since I had called. I could hear her light breaths. I pictured her lying in bed, eyes closed, her mind far away. I pictured her looking glorious in her night gown, waiting for me to say something that would ease her hurt. I shut my eyes and wished that I could see her at the moment, I suddenly missed her, so much that it fucked me up.

"Is it wrong of me to wish you were right by my side right now," I'm sure I sounded like an idiot. I'm sure she wanted to tell me to fuck off and cut off the line but I was totally wrong.

Calmly she responded, "Where's your girlfriend?"

I was taken aback by her question. I dug my head in my pillow and let out a heavy breath that I had been holding for a few minutes. My girlfriend. This felt like deja vu, the only difference being that Jaycey now had a husband so I wasn't the only one in a relationship.

"She's at her place. We haven't been dating for long. She became my girlfriend a couple of days ago," I felt the need to explain, "Jaycey, I haven't dated anyone since you...and Samantha."

I'm sure she thought I was utterly insane. Here I was, the woman who'd broke her heart a number of times and I seemed as if I was making myself look like a saint.

"I don't know what to say Belle."

Hearing her call me by my name made me realise how much I missed it. Anderson just didn't feel right.

"Say my name again."

She didn't say anything. Maybe I had gone way too far. Her breathing was still even but she said nothing. I regretted what I said. I didn't know what to do and when a minute passed without her uttering anything, my body itched.

"My oh my, you overstepped your boundaries didn't you."

There started, the voices in my head woke and came with double torture. I balanced my phone between my ear and my shoulder, using my hands to grab the bottle of vodka that was calling my name. I listened to Jaycey's breaths. Why was she quiet?

"Why did you call her?"

Why did I call her? I shouldn't have, I should've ignored her existence, I should've done something to kick her out of my mind. I chugged a mouthful of liquor and felt the hot liquid burn down my throat. It's sour like taste made me wonder why I even sought solace in it in the first place, oh wait, it's because it has the ability to make a person forget. And forgetting is what I was in need of at the moment.

"Belle," my heart skipped a beat, I choked on the alcohol I had just sipped. "I'm sorry, I thought I heard something so I went to check it out."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it was nothing. Being in this house alone is kinda creepy sometimes, I always feel like someone is watching me," she let out a laugh. Her laugh, it calmed me, it made me smile.

"I can't stop thinking about you," the alcohol was starting to make me utter secrets that no one other than the both of us knew. Who knew liquor could be such a backstabber.

"Jaycey, I think I still love you," my words were starting to come out slurred. I only drank a little, fuck, see what I meant about alcohol being a backstabber. Now Jaycey would know that ontop of being a heartbreaker, a cheater and a murderer; I'm a fucked up drunkard.

"Belle are you drunk?," I could tell that she was worried. That was kind of her, to worry about my well being.

Laughing awkwardly, I replied, "Nope, I just had a couple of sips and alcohol is a traitor. I just want to talk to you."

"You're drunk," she stated firmly, "Belle, I understand that this is hard for you. But you're messing your own life, of all the people that suffered four years back, you suffered less. Don't beat yourself down just to reach the level of pain I endured or that of Samantha."

"Are you scolding me Mrs Lyon?," I laughed. "You don't have a fuckin clue of what you're talking about Jaycey. I did you a favour when I left you, instead of acting like the most precious thing in the whole world you should be thanking me for what I did."

I was being an idiot but I couldn't stop myself. This was me and I couldn't run away from that, I couldn't change. Jaycey did not speak, what was she waiting for, why wasn't she cutting off the line. Knowing that she was still there, on the other end tortured me.

"Call me when you decide to act your age Anderson," she dropped the line.

I threw my phone at the far end of the bed in a frustrated manner. I  downed half the bottle of vodka that was remaining in the bottle. The taste settled in my taste buds, I expected to be calm but it seemed as if the alcohol had other plans. Tears ran a marathon down my cheeks, my chest heaved up and down abnormally fast and before I could stop myself, I let out a piercing scream. Followed by another and another till my voice couldn't take it anymore. I shut my eyes, loving the darkness beneath them. I stayed like that for a long while before opening them but opening them proved to have been the worst mistake ever.

"Stop acting like a baby," Samantha mocked me, letting out a screechy laugh that could have caused blood to pour out my ears.

I rubbed my eyes, blinked, closed them and opened them again but there she was. Her clothes drenched in fresh blood, her hair a mess, her eyes hollow, the once ocean blue orbs were painted in red, welling up like a pool of blood. My breathing quickened, she just stood infront of me and watched me with an amused expression.

"You lied to me. You said you would come back for me. You said you loved me."

Her facial features were contorting. God, I would never drink alcohol again. This had to be it's effects, this couldn't be real. But it felt like reality, it didn't feel like a dream but a nightmare of a reality.

"I-I...," my throat had gone dry, no amount of saliva that I gulped down managed to moisten it, "I'm sorry Samantha. I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to do what I did. I'm sorry."

"Sorry is sorry word."

Blood oozed from her mouth as she awarded me with a wicked smile and before I knew it, like a cheater aiming at it's prey; she pounced on me and the only thing I heard before I blacked out were my screams and her evil laugh.