The Fighters Return Book Two

Phoenix's POV

My thoughts come grinding to a halt as those words leave her mouth. "w-what?" I ask after clearing my throat, she raises a brow at me before taking a few steps and coming to a stop in front of me. "I. Have. A. Fight. To win, would you like me to say it any slower?" She asks dragging out every syllable and I frown at her tone. "I'm not a child Raelyn" I snap defensively and she smirks at me whilst shrugging at me. "Could've fooled me" she mutters and I hear Colt laugh. I elbow him in the ribs as she turns and walks to the driver's door of her car. "So you're coming back to the compound then?" I press and she sighs, she shakes her head and Benji lets out a distressed sound. Her eyes snap to him and I see him pulling the puppy eye look. She huffs and rolls her eyes. "Just because I'm not coming back to the compound doesn't mean that I'm leaving BB, I'm gonna stay in the hotel about 20 minutes from here." She explains to him and his shoulders relax but I shake my head. "Just come back with us Raelyn, we still have things to talk about." I tell her and she stares at me weirdly for a moment. "What and bring more trouble to your door for you to then throw in my face at a later day and make me feel like shit all over again? Nah, I'm alright thanks" she says in a bitter tone and I frown. "Raelyn, please" I practically beg and she looks up at me for a moment, she opens her mouth to answer me but her eyes drift off to look at something behind me and she frowns shaking her head before sighing. "Ok fine, but you throw the past in my face one more time Scar and I'll remove the breaks from your bike and watch you crash." She promises and I gulp as I hear Colt and Bear snort in amusement. Yeah yeah, okay dickheads enjoy watching me get my ass handed to me. I nod satisfied with her answer and turn and walk back to my bike. "Not. A word" I snap to Bear as he goes to say something with a smirk on his face. He holds his hands up in surrender but that doesn't stop him from letting a few chuckles slip. I roll my eyes and swing my leg over my bike, 2 minutes later we're all pulling away from the pavement and making our way back to the compound.  

Pulling into the compound I sigh and turn my bike off. "Come on Nyx' lets go have a beer whilst Colt helps Tiger put her stuff in her room" Bear suggests and I nod despite not feeling like drinking. I've kept myself drunk for long enough. "I think I'll skip the beer but I might start the grill outback. Send someone to go grab some steaks?" I ask him and he nods heading off to do just that.  "Raelyn, you're back" I hear Tyler say softly as I walk through the front door. Raelyn smiles at him slightly and nods her head. "For how long?" He asks, his insecurity seeping through his tone and I see Raelyn flinch. "I don't know Ty, I can't promise I won't have to leave some times but I want to try and stay here for a good while, I'm gonna look at some apartments next week, you can come with me if you like, that is, if your dad lets you I mean" Raelyn offers with an unsure expression on her face clearly out of her comfort zone, Ty looks up at me for an answer and I nod. His smile lights up his entire face and he nods happily at Raelyn before his face turns sad again. "A-about the other day, the mom thing... I-I'm sorry" he winces and my heart breaks for him. Raelyn swallows closing her eyes for a moment and I sigh, "Hey Ty, Benji, I need to speak with Raelyn for a little while if that's alright with you boys, I promise not to hog her for too long" I say and both boys nod. Taking a deep breath I gesture for Raelyn to follow me up the stairs and the sound of her footsteps echoing mine is enough confirmation that she is actually listening to me for once. We make our way to my room in silence and I take a calming breath before opening the door, I gesture for her to go first which she does so although hesitantly. I take a seat on my bed and she stands leaning against a wall with her arms crossed tightly over her chest. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?" She asks and I close my eyes for a moment. "Before I start, I need you to do something for me. I need you to listen, not hear Raelyn but ACTUALLY listen, no interruptions. Do you think you can do that? After I'm done you can have your say okay?" I ask and she takes a deep breath and seems to be thinking it over before she nods her agreement. I shift myself around so I'm leaning back against my headboard and gesture for her to sit down. She moves slowly but eventually takes a seat at the bottom of the bed, I ignore her tense posture and take a deep breath before beginning.

"That day at the hospital, what you heard... I was angry Raelyn but not really with you I know I have anger issues, I understand that but that day I was petrified of losing Tyler, of losing you... I know I should've come to you sooner my mind was cloudy and if I could go back in time and knock some sense into my damn head then I would but I can't. When you left it broke something in nearly everyone here Raelyn. I tried so hard to be fine, to be a better dad to my son, to make myself a better man for when you came back to us. Hell, I even tried to keep Benji in line, you see how well that turned out. These years I've been nothing but a shell and I have never been more ashamed in my life then I am in this very moment. You deserved to come home to a good future, and I wanted to be a good man for you to come home to but I really can't do this anymore Raelyn so I'm going to ask you this... Do you think that there is even a slight chance of an us in the future, whether its 1 month or 5 years from now, it doesn't bother me but I'm asking for an answer, tell me there's a chance and I promise you I will wait for you.  After everything Raelyn, you still mean the world to me." I'm met with silence but I can see her emotions cover her face. "On Tylers 13th birthday I caught him preying you know, my son was praying for you to come back but he didn't refer to you as Raelyn when he pleaded to a god he isn't sure he believes in to bring you home to us. He asked for his mom back, my 13-year-old son who could've wished for anything in the world, asked for you, the one woman he sees as his mom and my heart broke all over again. The next morning I took him to one side and asked him about it and why he called you mom instead of Raelyn and you know what he said?" She shakes her head whilst averting her eyes to the ground. "He said that calling you Raelyn feels wrong he said that even if you take your promise back, you will always be his mother but just a moment ago you know what I saw in my boy's eyes? Hopelessness. Hopelessness and sadness, I'm not asking for a miracle Raelyn but I am asking you to come back to us, come back to me" I plead softly and I feel my eyes sting as she shakes her head. The silence is almost deafening and just as I think I should get up and leave before my chest caves in on me again I hear a heartwrenching sob and I swear I stop breathing. my eyes shoot up and I see tears rolling down the side of Raelyns face. "What you think I wanted to leave? I didn't WANT to leave Phoenix I HAD to leave. I know I caused everyone pain but I was hurting as well, I was hurting to the point where I didn't even want to wake up in the morning. I love Tyler like my own even though he isn't mine but that day when he was taken because of me tore my heart to pieces. His own birth mother wanted him dead Nyx and I should've protected him but I couldn't! I'm sorry I left but it was the only way I could heal. I want to be a part of his life Nyx whether you let him call me mom or whether I'm just Raelyn to him, I don't mind. I'm not perfect and I know that the line of work I'm in  currently is dangerous but my contract is up in 5 months and then I'm free to do as I wish." She takes a deep breath and runs a hand through her hair. She clears her throat and takes a deep breath before sighing heavily. "If you ask me to stay with you as anything more then old friends my answer will be no, the job I have to do isn't one of the safest and I can't risk anyone else getting hurt... If you can wait, just a little while, just until my contract is up then maybe...Maybe we can try but I'm not the same as I was before Phoenix. The Raelyn that you knew, that your son knew, she doesn't exist anymore" she says and looks at me with a soul-shattering pain hidden within those beautiful eyes of hers. I blow out a breath and lean forward, she flinches as I raise my hand and tenses further as I wipe away a stray tear, "I will wait for however long you need darling, just don't up and disappear on us. I don't think we'd be able to cope if we lost you a second time." I explain and she smiles hesitantly before nodding slightly. Without thinking I wrap her in my arms and pull her close to me. "This isn't waiting" she scolds and my lips tilt up as I tighten my grip on her slightly, "we're friends for now and friends hug Raelyn so shush and let me hold you," I say and sigh contentedly when I feel her hug me back, we stay like that for a few moments before we separate and I discreetly pinch myself to make sure that I'm not dreaming. She stands up a moment later and mutters something about having to get a gym session in before a fight tonight and I frown. "What's this fight about?" I ask with a tilt of my head and she stops in her tracks before turning to face me. "Oh right,  I'm taking Benji's place in a fight tonight at the cage." She shrugs and I nod "Right wait...What?!" 

hellooo friends, 

not sure this chapter makes sense but will definitely review it and edit it sometime soon, not my best writing, I am well aware of that fact so no mean comments if you please,

hope you are all safe and staying indoors!

-woundedrose_01