Tell Me How To Move On

Chapter 7: Confused

*Stephen's POV:

'As a friend'

I don't get her. Why did she even said that? Is there something wrong with what I said. I love her, of course. I love her as my friend. Cindy had been my friend for a very long time now. She was the first girl who have known the inner side of me that is completely hidden to others. She was the one that made me smile and laugh so hard because of her jokes and the way she makes silly faces as well.

But that's it.

She's a friend. A best friend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

*Flashback

"I love you, Stephen." She suddenly said.

"No. You've got to be kidding me. I know that you're just saying that because you're broken right now. I know that you and your boyfriend will soon fix this problem and---" I was about to say something when she suddenly kissed me directly. Her lips crashing onto mine. To say that I was surprised was an understatement. I'm shocked. Really shocked. I didn't expect this. This has to stop.

"What are you doing? Stop this! This is wrong, Cindy." I said the moment I distanced myself from her.

"Stephen, can't you see? I love you, so damn much! I tried to divert my attention to other guys but even if I try everything I can to forget you and my feelings, I just can't. I have already set my eyes on one guy only. And it's you. I love you, Stephen."

"If this is just a plan to get fun at me, well fine. You got me. You need to stop this." I said faking a smile. I can't even muster a smile to her especially when I know that in the end, she'll just get hurt. 

"It's not. What I feel for you is true. You just can't notice it because you think that these are just happening because you're my bestfriend. Well, it's not. These are my real feelings, Stephen."

"You've got to be kidding me! You know that I already set my eyes on another girl. And you definitely know who she is. She's your bestfriend!" I almost shouted. I suddenly regretted what I did because the next thing I know, she already fell down and started to cry. What the hell is happening?

"Hey." I said the moment I came close to her. I slowly held her face and suddenly noticed her eyes. She's in pain. She really is.

"I love you so much Stephen. I t-tried to divert my... my attention to somebody else. But I just can't. I'm already inl ove with my... my freaking bestfriend." She stuttered. She cried. Because of me. It's my fault. I didn't know her feelings. Especially about her liking me. I never thought that she'll feel this way about me. We're friends. And only friends.

"Cindy..." The only response I can try to give her. I don't know what to say. I'm messed up! Totally messed up!

She looked sternly onto my eyes. Her eyes showing how much pain she's suffering now. How I wish I can do anything to somehow lessen her pain. " I know that you don't feel the same way about me. I know that you already like somebody else and I should definitely respect that. But do me this last favor... kiss me. I swear after this, everything will come back to normal. I just wanted to let my feelings out. I promise to you that everything that happened before will be forgotten. Please, just---" I didn't let her finish. I suddenly kissed her without any oubt. I know that after this, the pain that she's suffering now will take time to lessen. And I'll be here for her. I'll help her recover. I'll help her find a guy that will love her and will put her first. I guess it's not me that he's looking for. Kissing her doesn't mean that I also feel the same way. But if it could somehow make her free to let her feelings out, it will be fine. I broke the kiss and held her face making her look at me.

"I know that I'm not the one for you. I'm your bestfriend. And I will always be here for you. If we continue this, we'll just be playing with each other's feelings. I don't wanna hurt you. But I also don't want to give you false hope. I love you, Cindy. I love you as my bestfriend. I know that maybe someday, you'll find the right guy that will put you first, ok?" I advised her. She slowly nodded and that's the time when I felt that she's going to be okay. I drove her home to make sure that she's okay. 

"Goodnight, Stephen. And thank you as well." She said. I saw her smile from my peripheral view. 

"Goodnight, Cindy." I said while walking her to her house. I just hope that maybe someday, she'll find the right one for her.

*End of Flashback

Does the past even has a connection to the present? 

I tried to divert my thoughts to something else. If I tell this to Sophia, she might not take it right away. I need a perfect timing for her to know everything. I wonder if she's okay. I still remembered her jealous face when she saw me with Cindy. She really has that effect on me. But something bothers me now.

'Will she stay away from me when she'll finally know the truth?'

It really threatens me if that time will come. I'm starting to be afraid of her reactions.

Will she take it?

Will she stay away from me? 

I need to plan for this. I need to think of a way to tell everything to her without getting her to be hurt that much.

I need to tell her everything.

------------ END OF CHAPTER 8 --------------

Hiiii :) Thank you all so much for your patience. I love you all so much for reading my story. Christmas break is almost there and I promise to update more when that time comes. I'll make it up to you. Thank you all so much! Byeeeee :) Till next time :)

DreamerOfToday :")