The YouTube Love Life

Chapter 5

The day of the party

Phil's POV

I wake at 8:00am and walk into the kitchen assuming Dan is still asleep. He usually wakes up around 10am but doesn't get up until an hour later. Quietly I make a mug of coffee for both of us. I'm just about to take it to his room when he walks into the kitchen fully dressed.

"You're up early." I say, genuinely shocked. The last time Dan got up before 10am was when the fire alarm went off when I tried to make scrambled eggs and accidentally set fire to the kitchen roll.

"Yeah I woke up really early and couldn't get back to sleep." He says tiredly. "That for me?" He says pointing at the mug of coffee. I nod, handing him the steaming mug. As he comes closer I see dark circles under his eyes.

"We don't have to go to the party. we can just stay here and watch a movie if you want." I say starting to worry.

"I'll be fine." He says, taking a sip from the mug before I can warn him. "ARGH HOT!" Dan splutters putting down the mug urgently. He looks around quickly for something to cool down his mouth. I lean forward and kiss him on the mouth. He stops flailing around and kisses me back. Sparks of energy fly through my body. I love being with him. He stops and looks into my eyes.

"I love you." He says.

Dan's POV

"I love you."

It comes out of nowhere. I felt like I needed to say it. The thought of Tyler creeps back in my mind. No. The time was right. I do love him, I wasn't doing it for Tyler, I was doing it for us. I love the way he brings me coffee in the morning, the way we edit videos together, anytime spent with Phil is the highlight of my day. I kiss his nose lightly and then realise he isn't saying it back.

 A moment passes, Phil looks at me, I can see my reflection in his eyes. His face turns sllightly red. I wait a couple more seconds.

"I love you." I repeat louder. I know he has heard me the first time but I repeat it anyway. He gulps.

"Thanks." He barely mumbles the word. Thanks. Thanks. I just admitted I loved him after months of being together and all he can say is thanks. Tyler's face pops up in my head. I step back.

"Dan-" Phil starts, stretching out to reach me. I cut him off.

"You don't love me." I say, the words taste sour in my mouth.

"Dan, I'm not ready..." I turn and start walking. I walk out of the front door, and out into cold morning air. I can hear Phil following me to the door but he stops there.

"Dan! Wait!" I keep walking my hands in my pockets. I try and block Phil out and concentrate on where I'm going but the sight of him is engraved in my eyes. I keep walking, eyes straight ahead, I don't acknowledge anything. Not even when a couple of girls come up to me asking whether I'm Dan Howell. I just walk straight past.