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I look jayden over as he pulls his mercedes into the $5 entry drive-in theater, I smile a little. after he pays, he parks the car in a secluded corner of the grass lot and rolls down the sunroof before he turned off the car. I'm still staring at him, observing how concentrated he was on the screen.
eventually jayden turns his head to face me, staring at me confused. "what's wrong? do you not wanna be here?" I didn't really care where jayden took me, as long as he was there, I loved everything. but tonight, I wanted to talk instead of staying quiet through a movie.
"I love it, jay, I do. but, I just...I thought about what you said to me at the beach."
jayden suddenly looks concerned, my heart swoons. "we don't gotta talk about it if you're not ready to, sequoia."
I shake my head and smile. "no jay, that's the thing though, I'm ready now." jayden turns more of his body to me, nodding, telling me to start, telling me that he would be okay with anything I had to say.
here goes nothing.
"about four years ago, my dad actively abused me and my mom. he beat on my mom more since she was always protecting me from him, and so he raped her as a punishment almost every night, which I still feel bad about to this day. one night the house power cut off so I lit candles in every room of the house. then mom got really sick and weak all the sudden and I was afraid she was going to die so I took care of her until she went to sleep while my dad was at work. I fell asleep in her arms. after he got home and saw us together. he pulled me into my room. I thought he was gonna beat me but he started to strangle me instead. my own father was trying to kill me. I was almost dead when I saw the candle. it was so close to me....so with all the strength I had left, I picked it up and shoved the candle in his face.
he let go of me and screamed so loud. when I could finally breathe, I got so angry. him burning wasn't enough. I thought that he would live somehow if I had just stopped there. so I grabbed the lighter and lit the whole house on fire. I made sure I took my mom out of there once the fire took half the house. her and I stood outside and watched it burn. and I think my mom knows that I did it, but she never said anything. I don't think she wanted to hear it. I think she heard the freedom bells like I did. we were finally free from him.
we moved to pearl city a month after the fire. my mom took us to one of those fire show restaurants on our first night and I was so fascinated by how those people performed so fearlessly with something that could destroy their entire being in seconds. watching them, I guess, gave me the same adrenaline I had when I killed my father...so I started buying matches and have been in love with fire ever since."
I don't look jayden in the eye. I only focus on how relieved I feel. I had finally told someone. I wipe the tears from my eyes before I turn back to the movie. jayden is still staring at me. maybe he just needed a second to process.
I look back at him as I open my side of the door. "I'm gonna go get popcorn and colas for us, okay?" I don't wait to hear his answer, I just give him a smile and leave. I shut the car door and walk towards the food line, taking my stand behind some asshole who smelled bad, like beer and cigarettes. I was kind of used to the smell of cigarettes since jayden smoked, but at least his rich boy perfume covered most of it up. I smile just thinking about it; jayden smelled so sexy.
jayden was so sexy.
I look down and see that this man has a confederate flag stitched onto the back of his jacket. I roll my eyes and scoff. I thought that hawaii would be the only one of the fifty states that didn't have these assholes living here, but they always found a way I guess.
I feel a presence next to me and turn my head. it was a short white woman. she had on the same jacket as the asshole in front of me.
"may I help you?" I ask her, making sure it was full of attitude.
"ain't no reason to get sassy with me, darkie, I only wanted to stand next to my husband in line; and you're in the way."
that was when I lost all my sense of shit.
I get in her ugly ass face. "bitch, you know damn well that I ain't in the way of nothing—"
"hey!" the man in front of me turns to us, but he's glaring at me. "don't speak to my wife like that, you coon."
my blood pressure only climbs higher. "you know what? why don't the both of your pasty asses get the fuck outta here if you can't handle me? and to hell with your fucking ass flag, the confederates lost you damn dumbass bitches, stop waving it like it means something! like it makes no sense—who the fuck waves a flag that represents that your beliefs have failed?"
"there a problem?"
I turn my head to see jayden approaching us. when he does, he stands close behind me. I feel a little relieved that he was there but I was too heated to fully pay attention to him.
the asshole slightly relaxes at the sight of jayden. "everything's alright son, this was just starting something like her kind always does."
then his bitch takes a step closer to me, "yeah, hootin' and hollerin' when this is america, where we have free speech and expression, where we can wear and wave our flags whenever we want."
"is that really your excuse for being such a fucking lowlife?" I ask boldly. she scrunches her face in rage after I speak, then her grubby hands reach towards my hair in attempt to pull it.
but jayden slapped the fuck out of her hand before she could. the bitch's eyes water.
"don't touch her hair."
I look up to stare at jayden, who didn't look like himself anymore. he looked fucking angry. he looked like he was going to kill them. I take that as our cue to leave.
"jayden, baby, let's go before a guard comes." I put my hand on his chest as he stared down the confederate couple with darkened blue eyes. I somehow pull him away from that mess and back to the car.
"I wanna leave, let's leave." I say once we're settled in. jayden wastes no time to go.
once we're on the road jayden says, "I would've slapped the shit out of her. outta both of 'em."
I turn my head to him. "I know you would've, and I'm kinda glad you didn't." I take his free hand and squeeze it tightly. "but thank you for defending me."
"I would do anything for you, sequoia. I would've killed both those motherfuckers if you asked me to. I fucking love you." jayden takes his eyes off the road for a single moment to look at me as he says those four words.
