𝑰𝑵𝑪𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑨𝑹𝒀

𝟎𝟖; 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

𝑆 𝐸 𝑄 𝑈 𝑂 𝐼 𝐴

--

I bite my lip, tightening my grip on my phone. "yes mom, I'll be fine."

"you got clothes?"

"yeah, I got clothes." I'll steal jayden's, it wouldn't be the first time.

"your charger?"
"yes, mom. I got it...I love you, okay?"

"I love you too."

we say goodbye and hang up. I put my phone in my skirt pocket before I turned to jayden, he was smoking a cigarette with his head out his bedroom window, elbows on the windowsill as he blew smoke from his mouth and into the air outside. I take off my clothes and put on his; I walk up behind him and lean my head on his shirtless back. we stand in the lightless room, both silent.

my mind replays that moment and the seconds leading up to it; I shut my eyes at the memory of the branch slamming into the environmentalist's head. I remember the protective look in jayden's eyes. I remember how scared I was before jayden came. I felt nothing but relief when we ran the fuck away from there. I remember it all way too fucking well.

"I don't regret it," jayden says suddenly, taking another hit of his cigarette before blowing it out towards the sky, "he was gonna hurt you." I put my chin on jayden's spine before I drew circles on his back, enjoying the little hairs that rose up at my touch.

"I'm glad you were there, jay." I let go of him and lay on his bed. jayden turns his head to watch me snuggle into the mattress. "what?" I ask him once I throw his sheets over my body.

jayden takes one last inhale of the cig before he throws it out the window, I smile as he slides in next to me on the bed. once his head hits a pillow, I snuggle into him. he wraps his arms around me when he says, "I don't want you to think that I'm some monster, sequoia."
wait, what?

I look up from jayden's chest to stare at him. "I don't see you that way, and I never have. why would you ever think that?"

"I remember the way you looked at me when I told you to leave earlier—"

I sit up and look at jayden hard even though I barely can in the darkness. "jayden I was just shocked, that's all. I guess I'm not used to you..." I didn't have a word for it, and I didn't want to be offensive.

"switching up? blowing? or you could just call it what it is and say, 'having a manic episode,' or whatever the fuck mom and the doctors say." jayden laughs bitterly, pulling me back into him. I laugh a little. we were such weirdos; no normal people would be laughing after they've killed someone, but here we are. figures.