S H E

Things I want To Tell Mum

Mum
I have a stalker
He's always there waiting in the dark
He calls out to me
His voice rough
Sends a shiver rushing down my spine
Well before it makes me curl in disgust with myself
From time to time he tells me to go to him

He does things to me mum!
He grips my hands and thighs and waist and chest
Tight mum
It hurts mum
And his sweaty palms glide over my body
Every
Single
Time

He says mean things to me mum
He calls me a whore
He says I chose this
I hate him mom
I hate him so much
I've known him since I was twelve
He follows me everywhere

I'm so scared mum
Sometimes he has a knife
He's given it to me so many times
He tells me to cut myself
But I'm afraid of dying mum
I don't wanna leave you here

My stalker is cold as the breeze at 12 am mum
Something close to winter
His words cut like a sharpened blade
Yet he has me eating from his palm
He says everything is fine with him only
He says only he will love me
He's so rough with me mum
He insults me all the time
He's imprisoned me mum
The chains leave a mark
On my wrists that are sore
And it pains mum
The weight of the silver
Burns through my skin
Stinging to the touch
And I can't escape
I wish it could stop mum
I wish he left mum

His name is depression mum
He never leaves
He says he loves me mum
But is it really the truth?
He says the darkness is beautiful
But you said the light is better mum
Yet when people hurt me
Why do I believe him mum
His lies are so sweet
And I know he'll kill me
He's told me many times too
But why do I still get pulled into his arms at night?
Why can't I resist the temptation he gives me
Why mum?

He's abusive mum
I have scars for years and counting to show you
But why can't I leave mum
I try telling you
But when I do try
He covers my mouth
Grips my throat
And pulls me inside his room
Why can't I scream for help mum?
Or maybe I like it
Or maybe I want it?
Or maybe I enjoy it?
Why am I speechless mum?
Why do I do this?
I wish you could help me mum
He's making me fall for him
Or with him
I can't tell anymore mum
I can't tell anymore
And he's consuming the whole lot of me
So what do I do
You've always been my savior
Why don't you help me now mum
Why don't you see my silent suffering?
Why don't you see me mum?