Shock And Awe

Wounds I

A/N: Please note that other triggering content (self-harm and suicide will be discussed) throughout the story. Please be forewarned and take precautions if these are troubling for you.

A/N: Violence towards a primary character is mentioned/discussed in this chapter. Please be forewarned if that is troubling for you.

A/N: This ended up being a much long chapter than I initially planned, so I ended up having to break it up into two sections/parts (to make it a little easier for everyone to read). The second part should be up soon.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews and votes. My muse and I both appreciate it.

This is still, as of now, planned to be a fairly long, multi-part story, but if y'all aren't into it...I'll wrap it up soon.

And remember...reviews and votes keep me and my muse motivated...especially if they're positive!!!

***More drama and more secrets revealed***

I hope you enjoy this latest chapter...Now on with the show!!!

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"They say time heals all wounds, but sometimes you wonder. " ~ Jim Nantz

"Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more." ~ Agatha Christie

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Chapter 57

I watched for a brief moment as JJ turned to walk out the door and then I just stared straight ahead. I knew that if I looked back in her direction, she'd see the fear and uncertainty in my eyes.   

I'll have a hard enough time making sure Dr. Hayes and this nurse don't see how worried I am.

The truth is that for the first time in a long time I'm actually scared. Because I literally have no control over what I'm about to see...what's hiding just below these bandages...and how that could change the rest of my life.

If I really think about it, I might just fall apart. So I'm trying desperately to block it out and not think about it.

I know JJ wanted to stay here with me...to hear what Dr. Hayes had to say...but I couldn't let her see the damage that Lucas caused. At least not until I know myself.

If it isn't that bad...then maybe I'll change my mind. But if looks as bad as it feels right now...I don't want her or anyone else to see it. Hell...I don't think I want to see it.

She says she'd be fine with it...that she doesn't care how I look and only cares that I get better. But how could that possibly be true?

I guess I'll find out how bad it is soon enough.

I hear the door close and Dr. Hayes clear her throat. I guess she was saying something to me, but I completely missed it, so I look back up at her and notice she seems to be waiting for some kind of a response.

"Sorry. Wh...what?"

"I asked if you were ready to get started?" Dr. Hayes repeats...slightly concerned.

I nod in response.

"Okay then. Well first, I just wanted to go over a few things with you. Are you sure that you didn't want JJ to stay? Or wait until your kids are here with you before we get started? I know you said before you wanted to do this on your own...but having someone here to support you can be extremely beneficial. This can be a lot to deal with all at once. There's a lot of information to absorb. Sometimes having someone else with you can be helpful...in case you miss something we say. They can even help think of questions you may not." Dr. Hayes asks.