CH. 32 Old Habits

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Getting up the next morning was a lot harder than I had anticipated.

I dragged myself out of bed once again, showering and getting ready for a day I didn't want to attend.

I resisted crying in the shower, or at least making noise from it.

I couldn't help the few stray tears that fell as I attempted to clean my body. But, I forcefully bit the inside of my cheeks to prevent any sound.

Sifting through my closet, I realized I was missing one of my school uniforms.

The uniform I had gone to the club in. I remembered exactly where I had left it— on the floor along with the rest of my dignity.

I sighed to myself as I grabbed another off the hangers, quickly putting it on my body so that I wouldn't be tempted to look at myself.

It was better to avoid my shame than to feed into it.

I sulked slowly down the stairs, my eyes closing droopily.

I hadn't gotten much sleep last night; maybe about a good 3 hours was my guess.

My feet dragged along the steps and I cautiously entered the kitchen where Kade, West, and Flynn were talking.

I could hear their boyish-laughter from around the corner, but as soon as they saw my face, the laughter stopped.

I ignored the stares shot my way, going to grab a glass and fill it with water.

They said nothing to me, only the sounds of them chewing their breakfast occupying the once noisy kitchen.

I took long sips from my water, looking over to a bag of cereal sitting on the counter.

It stared back at me, begging me to eat it.

I knew I should eat.

I hadn't eaten in two days.

I considered going to grab a bowl, but that thought quickly diminished as a wave of nausea accompanied my thoughts of hunger.

I gagged, putting my cup down and quickly making my way out of the kitchen.

Any thought of food right now made my stomach do flips.

I waited in a trance, sitting on the last step of the stairs with my backpack in hand.

Eventually, the boys came out of the kitchen, laughing amongst each other once again.

I had been staring out the front of our glass door, watching the world go by without me in it.

I felt a presence above me, casting a shadow over my view.

I looked up.

Kade was staring at me; his dirty blonde hair tossed messily to the side, an uncertain look in his bright eyes.

I didn't like him very much right now.

"Ready?" Kade's lips moved slowly in my mind, his voice ridden with caution.

His seemingly quiet words rumbled within my head and I bit back the urge to respond.

I didn't want to talk.

Not to him.

I nodded back, hoping that my lack of communication would lead to the end of the conversation.

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