A Silent Love

Seeing For The First Time Again

On the wall next to the door, there were two buttons. The top one, for the first floor had no name, but the second had R. Berry and K. Hummel written in Rachel's familiar handwriting. The curves of the letters were unique to her and beautiful. The button had been ripped off so there was no chance of her being able to ring it for Rachel to buzz her through. I walked over to the door and figured that I may as well try it. to my surprise, it opened with ease. It was a fairly old building, but it wasn't run down at all. I expected it to be a bit more secure though. Luckily she's not living here alone, I guess. It's worrying enough to think that she's been living here, but to think that she was ever alone would be horrifying.

I was thankful that there were only two floors to the building, because there was no elevator and I'd be damned if I was going to walk up who knows how many flights of stairs.

It was relatively warm inside. I expected it to be colder, since it was almost snowing outside. The winter was setting in late this year. The chill has set in, but no snow to show for it. I have always enjoyed winter, being able to cuddle up and stay cosy inside. It gave me a reason to sit closer to her in class, and it didn't seem to bother her too much, she just assumed I was cold.

I stood just metres away from the door to her. This moment could change how I feel about her forever and her me. I don't know if she'll be completely thrilled, or horrified. Hopefully she's as excited as I am. Hopefully she doesn't' want to slap me across the face and hate me. I took a moment to relish in the fact I am finally where I have always wanted to be, before moving forward to knock on the door. As I extended my arm, I noticed that I had begun to shake uncontrollably. I was hoping I wouldn't be, as I usually do when I'm nervous.

I pulled my arm back and clasped my hands, attempting to use force to stop the shaking. It has been so long since I've seen her... I can only wonder about how she'll react and hope for the best...

The door slid open quickly in front of me, and Rachel stood smiling. Her smile dropped for a second when she noticed it was me, but then smiled again when it sunk in. she obviously expecting company, just not mine, but she did seem happy that I was here.

"Quinn!" She shouted and pulled me to her in a hug. I hugged her back and just enjoyed the feeling before speaking. We stayed locked together for a few minutes, me feeling like I was going to cry, and Rachel probably just staying because she could feel me gripping her tight, not wanting to ever let go.

I became aware of this and loosened my grip to allow her to pull away. "What are you doing here?" she asked after a moment of silence.

"I'm here to see you," I answered and smiled,

"Well I got that part, but aren't you working somewhere? How did you get time off?" she questioned, seeming a little confused.

"No, I graduated from Yale the day after you did NYADA. I've been slowly packing up so I could move, and this is the first chance I've had."

"Oh, where are you moving to?" she asked, tilting her head to the side and sporting that signature look she has. The one that tells you that she really does care.

"I was hoping here actually. I've always loved New York, and I thought come visit you for a while," I explained and awaited an answer, hoping that she wouldn't be furious for me springing myself on her doorstep basically begging for refuge. "I'm going to go looking for apartments in the next few days, but I thought I'd come see you first."

"Oh, please. You can stay here. We have space. Since Santana moved out, there's an extra bedroom. Take your time. I bet you're tired from the trip. Do you want to have a rest and then maybe we could head out and get some lunch?" she offered as I was ushered in the door and taken through the apartment to the spare bedroom.

"Sounds great."

"Okay, well whenever you're ready, I'll be out here."

"Thank you so much, Rachel. I should've called, instead of just turning up and burdening you," I apologised, feeling as though I had troubled or interrupted her, although there was no one else here.

"It's fine. I'm so happy to see you. It'll be good to catch up."

"Okay, but if at any time you have anything to do, you can send me off or go do whatever you want. Don't feel like you have to hold back because of me."

"It's fine, I don't have any plans until Monday. I'll tell you more about it when you've had a rest."

"Thank you, again."

"Sweet dreams, and don't let the bed bugs bite," Rachel whispered and pulled the door closed behind her. the room went dark and I felt my chest tighten. I hate the dark. My breathing quickened and I lay back on the bed, hoping to actually be able to sleep to be rid of this feeling. There was only a trickle of light seeping in under the door that cast enough light for me to be able to see around the room if I squinted a little.

I didn't need to rest at all. I was as awake as I could possibly be. I just want to sit down and talk for hours with Rachel, catch up on what she's been doing in the past year or so.

I woke with a scream. The nightmare had occurred again. That horrid monster had found it's may into my only escape from the world. Once again. I was hoping this wouldn't happen. This was meant to be my escape from it.