A Silent Love

The Nightmares Return

Last thing I could remember was that I was laying here quite terrified of what may be lurking in the shadows. But thinking about Rachel none-the -less. My chest tightened, stronger and more painfully this time as I looked up and noticed that what little light had made its way in before, was now gone. There was only darkness surrounding me, I couldn't see a thing.

I didn't want to be lying here anymore. The darkness, images of the monster still fresh in my mind from his appearance in my dreams. I wanted to move so badly, but I couldn't. It was as if I was tied down. My limbs were frozen, I was paralysed by it.

She must have heard me scream, because in a minute the door was being thrown open and Rachel came rushing in. She grabbed hold of my hand and I could hear her voice in my ear. "Quinn. Quinn," she sounded scared. "It's okay, Quinn. I'm here, it's over." She sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me into her arms, rocking me slightly and rubbing my head softly.

I lay into her side for a while then sprung up, embarrassed that I had let her see me so weak. I came to get to know her, not have her fuss over me like my mother, and I her child. "I'm sorry, Rachel. So sorry," I apologised as I got out of bed and hurried over to the door. Relishing in the light I could see just around the corner. Night had fallen and I hadn't even noticed.

"Why are you apologising? You've done nothing wrong."

"No. I shouldn't be here like this!" I half shouted, not at her, more at myself in anger. "This is all wrong..." I sat back down on the bed, resting my face in my hands. I didn't say anything for a while. Then I felt the bed dip down as Rachel sat beside me. Her arm went around me again but more hesitantly this time. Like she was scared I might jump up again. She was treading lightly and I didn't blame her.

"It's okay Quinn. Really. I was so happy when you arrived this morning. I'm glad you're here." I didn't say anything back. I was frightened that if I opened my big mouth I'd say the wrong thing. Although I really should just come out and tell her... my mind would be more at ease if I did.

There I go again, thinking of how it would benefit me. Not even considering if Rachel would freak out or like what I had to tell her. I battled with myself in my mind for ages before Rachel spoke again.

"You know, I'm happier than you could ever believe to have you here. When I heard the knock on the door, I thought it was going to be Brody or Santana back to annoy me. But when I saw it was you..." she paused for a moment and rested her head on top of mine. "I felt like the happiest person on earth. I had to contain my happiness because I didn't want you to think I was too over the top." She finished and wished that she would keep talking so I could continue to feel the soft vibration, from her speaking, against my head. Her voice is like velvet. Something I could listen to for hours and never get tired of hearing. She was gifted with that. Many people have voices that you can only take so much of. But Rachel's voice, it's just beautiful.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rachel asked me quietly after a few minutes of silence.

By 'it' I assumed she was referring to why I was screaming as I woke. I just shook my head no. I knew that I would eventually have to tell her if I was going to be spending time with her. I'd come to the obstacle of trying to tell someone why I had nightmares and who they were about some other time. But for now, I just wanted to enjoy her and being here.