A Silent Love

How Do You Feel?

We chatted for what felt like hours and hours, just catching up on all that we'd missed about each other the past few years. We decided to skip desert and head straight home. Rachel had informed me that she had a tub of ice cream and two spoons, and that was enough for me. I'm easily pleased I sometimes think that the littler things are, the better and sweeter the action.

We flicked on the tele when we got in the apartment and settled down together. After sitting for a few minutes, it got a bit chilly inside and I had started to shiver. "Let me get you a blanket," Rachel offered as she got up. I didn't have a chance to stop her, but it wasn't really an offer either, more of her telling me.

She returned with one for herself as well. Before she settled down again, she spread my blanket over me and disappeared into the kitchen. Returning with her tub of ice cream and two spoons, she sat down, covering herself with her blanket and settled again.

"I swear, Rach. You are just reading my mind."

"Great minds think alike, especially girl ones," she joked and pulled the lid off the tub.

Some people would probably call us crazy for sitting here when we're freezing, needing blankets, and still eating ice cream. No matter the weather, it is always time for ice cream.

Rachel scanned the channels; it wasn't long before she found something worthy of our watching. The Notebook. Yes it's a sappy love story that has created a double standard for every relationship to occur after its making. But, you can't say it's not a great film.

We sat the tub between us and alternated between spooning in the ice cream and crying at the dramatic events of the movie. We hardly spoke; just emotional, awkward noises escaped our mouths at the intensely romantic events shared between the two characters. When the movie ended, we didn't say anything; I think we were both really tired and couldn't be bothered to do anything. We stared at the screen as the next movie started. It was chick flick night and the next tragically beautiful love story to be screened was Romeo & Juliet, the Baz Luhrmann version. It is a great film, no doubt about it, but it's a bit too predictable at times.

I love the idea of 'chick flicks' but how they create this very stereotypical image of what a relationship is supposed to be like is what puts me off them sometimes. Not every relationship has a fight and the dashing young man chases the stunning young woman to confess his love. Not everyone looks like that, nor are they hardly ever in that situation. It also creates an image, I believe, that women have to live up to. Men associate chick flicks with lovey dovey scenes and girls crying at how beautiful it is. They don't reflect reality at all. I haven't seen one 'chick flick' involving a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender member. There is nothing wrong with being any of those and the fact that they are never shown in these kinds of films is disappointing to me. No one can honestly say that they are an accurate portrayal of anyone's life, or the attitude of society. A miniscule amount of people would be able to say that their relationship took the path of one in these movies. They are in the way that people discriminate against lesbian, gay, bisexuals, etc. but not that people like this can still fall in love just the same as any straight couple.

Anyway, as I am having this debate in my mind, Leonardo DiCaprio and Clare Danes are meeting through a fish tank awkwardly placed to separate the men's and women's bathrooms.

"I have never understood this part," Rachel voiced as they moved around, looking at each other. "In those days, they were all about confidelity and purity, keeping yourself from the opposite sex until gender, yet they allow people to openly look into the opposite sex's bathroom and peer on whoever may be in there." Her brow furrowed as she looked at the scene intently, still trying to decipher it.

"Yeah, that's what gets me too," I answered poorly. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't really feel like speaking at that moment, I was enjoying the silence around us, apart from the voices of the film characters.

The ice cream had finished up during The Notebook so we just sat, full of delicious food watching the tele. We had watched Romeo & Juliet in freshman English class. I remember I spent much of the time thinking about Rachel. I thought that I was just being silly back then and was just confused. But I've come to realise that I still feel the same and I wasn't wrong, even then. The more time I spend with her and think about her, the more I want to get to know her better and spend the rest of my life with her.

I looked to my left for a second and saw that Rachel had fallen asleep. I was quite tired as well, but had been avoiding giving into sleep. I would be extremely embarrassed if I woke the way I did this afternoon. But I had to sleep sometime so I put my legs up on the lounge, and lay down against Rachel's side. She wouldn't know that I had deliberately positioned myself here; it would just look like we'd both fallen asleep at the same time. As I nestled into position, I fell asleep thinking of how many times I could be doing this. How every time I feel like doing this I could, if only she knew how I felt and felt the same way back...