Dear Chronicle,
Today I asked mum why she named me Judy and when she told me, I could see the pride and happiness in her eyes.
These were her words, "I named you after my mum, who's your grandmother. Your grandmother was a very beautiful woman, everyone loved her. Her brilliance was exquisite, she always had a solution to the most difficult problems, she always knew what to do. But what I mostly loved about her was her determination. She knew what she wanted and never allowed anyone to steal her happiness and she was everyone's joy."
Sad isn't it, I've killed the legacy of my grandmothers name and nature. I'm suppose to be all that, depict her nature but I can't , I just can't. I'm just so out of place. Sometimes I wish I could go back to a time when I could smile and be myself...You don't know how much I hate myself, I can't look at myself without wishing I look like anyone else. I hate what I do to myself when I'm alone. I can't help but feel worthless, I don't really know who I am anymore and I feel I have no control over the new person I've become.
I just hope I can find the old me...
Love,
RAE
YOU ARE READING
Her Chronicle
ChickLitwhen you're depressed you don't control your thoughts your thoughts control you.... I wish people could understand this....
