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Chapter 8: Asking me about him.

Rose Jacobson's POV:

"You have feelings for him."

Eleanor's words were constantly repeating in my head. In the start, I found it ridiculous... and, the more I thought of it, the more it made sense. It fucking made sense.
Why's that every time I looked at him, I had this silly smile on my lips? Why was he making me laugh so much? Why do I find him so handsome? Why do I feel the need to always have him beside me? Because I had fucking feelings for him.

The evidence hit me. It was the first time it happens to me.

I had to straighten things out : I can't have feelings for him. Feelings like these, they end up killing you. No way it's gonna happen to me. I can't, I shouldn't. I gotta do everything to avoid the worst.

What am I supposed to do? Stay away from him?

Certainly not, says my conscience.

You're right, I shouldn't. That would destroy him and also destroy me. It was one of the worst things I could do.

Talk about it with someone?

Why not? But, who?
I don't know. It's better not.

Tell him about it?

I'm not suicidal, thank you.

In other words, I couldn't do anything.
Just wait for things to happen.

•••

Harry Styles' POV:

Rose's friends were very intimidating. It took me time to get comfortable around them, but I did it. They're nice people though.
After spending the afternoon and after having lunch with them, I went back to my room and Rose came with me. Before she left, she kissed me on the cheek and I was surprised by her action that I must have startled her. The worst part was that when she did it, I got goosebumps. Can you imagine? It was just a kiss on the cheek. And I got goosebumps.
I didn't even realise what happened. It just happened really fast... I thought about it the whole night. I didn't sleep, just like the night before. Guess why? Her. I was thinking about her all night and I didn't get any sleep. Like last night. And like the night before. This girl was everywhere. I was going crazy.

Crazy about h...
Shut it.

I'm gonna end up killing this conscience, one day.

•••

I was walking in the halls, when I saw her. A smile formed on my lips, and my heart started beating faster than the usual. What's happening to me?

I do know what's happening..., whispered my conscience.

You keep your mouth shut. Is it that complicated?

I apologize for all the past times and the times to come where my conscience will interrupt me.

So, I was saying... I walked towards my beautiful blondie, that was standing with her back facing me. She seemed concerned about something and she was looking down. I would have loved to know what she was thinking about at that moment.
When I got closer to her, she turned around. A smile formed on her beautiful face when she saw me.

"Hi Harry.", she smiles.
"Hi. What are you so concerned about?", I ask her.
"What do you mean?"

She seemed confused.

"I don't know.. I saw you earlier and it seemed like you were worried about something. Is everything okay?", I say.
"Ye-yes.. it's just, um.. An exercise in maths.. I can't finish it."
"Do you need help?", I ask her nicely.
"No, thank you", she smiles, "I can do it."

Her determination was one of the things I loved the most in her.

Especially her determination of lying to me.

Rose Jacobson's POV:

I lied. How was I supposed to tell him? "Oh, it's nothing, it's just that I'm trying to pretend I don't have any feelings for you, why?" No, seriously. And by the look on his face, I suppose that he suspected I wasn't being honest with him.

"I like your determination.", he smiles.
"Oh.. um.. thank you?"

I smiled at him, as we were walking in the halls.

"So, did you sleep well?", Harry asks.
"Very well, yeah.", I say, "And you?"
"Same here.", he answers, quite coldly.

I was surprised by his reaction. It also sounded like he was lying. You just did the same, Rose. I really didn't like the way our conservation was going. It sounded like we were trying to deliver a message and I really didn't like it.

"Rose?"

Harry called me, withdrawing me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?"
"I asked you a question.", he replies, harshly.
"Sorry, what did you ask?"

I was surprised by his attitude. He turned around towards me, grabbed my wrists and pinned me against the wall.

"Rose", he starts, "can you explain why you lied to me about your exercise in maths? Is there something wrong?"
"I.. I'm sorry, Harry, I can't tell you..."
"You don't trust me?"

His look was giving me goosebumps. Yes, of course I do trust him. But how was I supposed to tell him what's wrong? I couldn't.

"Yes, I do trust you!", I exclaimed.
"Then what's going on? Hmm?"
"I.. I'm really, sincerely sorry, but.. I can't tell you."

He let go of my wrists and stared the wall behind me, he seemed lost in his thoughts.

"I really don't like arguing with you."

He looked back at me, and I blushed lightly.

"Come on.", he says, "We have to go to class."

•••

I thought about my "argument" with Harry. I was really sorry to have to lie to him, but I just couldn't tell him. I didn't want that to change anything about our friendship. I love and appreciate the friendship we have, and I don't know what I would do if I lost it. And to lose Harry. I would be completely broken.

I wouldn't change our friendship for anything in the world.