Sensitive Wolf

14.

"So what do you do all day long?", I wanted to know from Noah as he led me to somewhere unknown. I was curious about the children here in the Crescent Moon pack, because Noah seemed so different, curious and not at all afraid of an adult, compared to the children at my old pack.

In the Mercy pack children from the age of 6 had to participate in fighting classes. They were given a teenager as a mentor in order to train them individually and further their weaknesses. I winced just thinking about the one week I had a mentee. I had been excited that finally I could show my parents how responsible I was and how good my fighting skills had become. I had been determined that my mentee was going to become the best of her age. However, after one week my father had called me to his office and had deemed me unfit to be a mentor as I was too soft, too sensitive, as always. He had told me that I was a bad influence on Lilly, my protegé. 

"We don't need another weakling like you in my pack.", his harsh words still haunted me from back then.

Noah's excited voice brought me back to the present and I tried to focus on him again, before my thoughts took a dark turn.

"These are my last months of freedom, before I have to start school, so I made a list.", he told me cheerily.

"What's on it?", I curiously asked and let myself get infected by Noah's joyful aura.

"Everything that's fun!"

His eyes sparkled with a happiness I had rarely seen or felt in anyone. Suddenly I felt very protective of Noah because I never wanted him to lose his optimistic attitude. My wolf agreed with me, Noah had already touched her heart as well.

"What happens when school starts?", I continued to ask him and briefly wondered if the school here was similiar to the one back in the Mercy pack.

He shrugged his shoulders, but his grin never left his lips.

"I'll probably have less time for fun things, but I heard from the older kids that they actually like going to school, so I'm not that worried about it."

My brows furrowed, because in the Mercy pack nobody liked going to school as it meant less time training, which everybody was always keen on, and the teachers there were very strict, punishing you for every tiny mistake you made. I could still feel the sting in my palms where they had used to hit me with a wooden ruler.

"Do you want to see my list?", Noah rescued me once again from sinking to deep into my dark past.

"I'd love to.", I smilingly responded and laughed when Noah raced to a big house right in front of us.

It looked cosy and had a warm glow, probably due to the light yellow colour of the external facade. Big windows with flower crates underneath made the house look even more friendlier.

I followed the laughter of children behind the house and saw 3 girls and 2 boys playing with each other.

They all looked so carefree and happy that a part deep inside of me wept for my cold and dull childhood. After the bird accident I had not been allowed to see my friends anymore as a punishment. My parents thought the less social contact I had with other pack members, the more my sensitive and weak personality would dwindle, as I had no reason to be concerned about someone. However, once I had been old enough to join the fighting classes my parents had soon discovered that my personality had still been the same - a huge disappointment for them. So they had ordered all children in my class to ignore me and to never speak with me - it had been an Alpha command so everybody had to obey.  

Through Dr. Clairence I had realized that my depression had started right about this time and after thinking and talking it through with her again and again, it seemed almost impossible not to get depressed and that gave me hope, because I, my personality and values, were not the reason for my mental health issues, but my parents and their behaviour and actions towards me were.