Mon Amour [Jenlisa]

Behind The Songs

Lisa

There was nothing else I wanted to do, than to tell the world that Jennie Kim is mine only. Sadly I can't do that because we are idols and our career will be ruined.

Me and Kai were great friends and I understood how they had to pretend to date because me and Jennie were being too obvious.

YG fucking sucked.

Jennie was with Kai again today and I had to thank the man for taking care of Jennie.

When she came back to the dorm, she gave me a passionate kiss and we again ended up in my room again, naked and tangled in bedsheets.

You would think that we were perfect, but I knew we were far from that.

I knew she didn't love me.

The kisses and touches were all a lie and I continued to live with that lie because I loved her too much. Even though it caused me pain.

I couldn't accept the fact that she wasn't inlove with me anymore.

When she came home from her and Kai's dates I would smell his perfume and see marks on her neck. She would always kiss me and we would end up in our room so that she could say that those marks came from me.

I knew everything, but I never said a word.

I told Jisoo and Chaeyoung and they said they noticed it too. Jennie's eyes didn't light up anymore when she saw me. She didn't eat the food I cooked for her for breakfast.

She would be on her phone talking to Kai for a whole day while she ignored me.

Ou relationship was getting more and more weak as they continued to fake date, but I knew it was our live that was fake, and theirs was real.

The next day Jennie went out to grab some food with Chaeyoung, when Jisoo barged in my room with a furious look. I looked at her confused but soon I saw the container of pills in her hand.

She threw them to me.

"What is this?!" She shouted and I shrugged my shoulders, I was too weak to answer, and my voice was hoarse from all the crying.

"Are you tyring to do what I think you are doing?" She asked and I shrugged, I knew what she meant.

"Maybe" I replied with an expressionless face. I soon felt a sting on my face as her hand landed on my cheek.

Her eyes were brimming with tears, I didn't know what to say.

"God fucking dammit Lisa! You're trying to kill yourself because of Jennie! If she doesn't love you dont give everything to her!" She shouted and this time and slammed my fist on my bed.

"You dont understand! I love her so much that I want to give her everything in me even if it hurts! I'll make her whole even if it meant that I was going to be broken" I said and she shook her head furiously.

"No, you're not inlove Lisa, you're just stupid" Last thing I heard was the door slamming shut and faint voices talking outside my door.

Jennie and Chaeyoung probably arrived and saw that little commotion. Jennie came in my room and looked at my face that was tear-stained.

"What's wrong Lisa?" She asked. She didn't even call me Lili. She was distancing herself from me everyday.

"Not now Jennie" I replied

"Lisa Im your girlfriend, you can tell me anything" She said and I shook my head while laughing. I knew she was looking at me confused.

"But you're also his girlfriend right? You're also his lover behind my back?" I approached her and touched her face "I know Jennie, I know everything but I acted as if I was blind. Because I love you. But I've had enough, you can happily be with him if you want. I dont want to share what's mine, but you aren't mine anymore. Your body is with me but your heart is with him"

She looked at me stunned as tears fell from her beutiful eyes.

"Lisa I-"

"No need to explain Nini, I love you so I'll understand you even without an explanation" I was about to exit my room when I looked at her again. "Say hi to him for me. I want him to know how lucky he is to have you"

_____

It was our concert, and I almost cried when stay played. I had a finale for us and only Jisoo and Chaeyoung knew about it and the DJs. They all knew that me and Jennie broke up, and I wanted to sing a song for her.

"We have a last song from Lisa!" Chaeyoung shiuted and she grabbed a guitar and started strumming.

We were in Manila and they noticed how me and Jennie didn't interact much today. I know most of the people that ship us are from here, and it hurt me to see the hurt in their eyes.

I started to sing.

Summer after high school, when we first met
We make-out in your Mustang to Radiohead
And on my eighteenth birthday, we got matching tattoos

Used to steal your parents liquor and climb to the roof
Talk about our future like we had a clue
Never planned that one day I'd be losing you

In another life, I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other, we made a pact
Sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on, whoa

Someone said you had your tattoo removed
Saw you downtown, singing the blues
It's time to face the music, I'm no longer your muse

In another life, I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

The one, the one, the one
The one that got away

All this money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should'a told you what you meant to me, whoa
Cause now I pay the price

In another life, I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

The one (the one)
The one (the one)
The one (the one)

In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

Our fans were all crying and I knew they saw the secret glances I gave Jennie. We waved at the goodbye, and our concert ended with broken hearts. It was a first and it hurt me the most to admit that...

Jennie Kim is the one that got away.