Farewell...

Love, hate and the in-between.

It was then movie/ pizza time, chilling like an actual family... only problem was, I was not their family, they weren't mine.

Marcel and I sat next to each other and I felt as though I kind of found a new friend, not one that would replace my Zeke, but one that would take up their own stand in my heart... I saw the same thing when I looked at August and the same when I saw April.

This night was surprisingly okay, not as awkward as I thought it would be and not too dramatic as I previously thought it would be.

We were watching Captain America: The First Avenger and I was personally obsessed with marvel comics. Once upon a time I aspired to be like them, all of them, possess their strength and learn to work on and improve my weaknesses.

"Who is your favourite avenger?" April asked me, all jolly and somehow happy. "Well being a woman, Natasha Romanoff. She is incredibly strong and brave. She is not a coward, she is everything every little girl should aspire to be." I said, in response, really giving socialising a shot. "Yeah she is very impressive, but mine would be... Tony Stark." She said, smiling. "Can you two stop. We are trying to watch a movie here..." Said Marcel, being as annoying as always. "You realise that you talk too much, right?" I asked him, being sarcastic. I liked it, arguing with someone.

Four boxes of pizza later and a two hour long movie, it was the end of the night. "Thank you for having us and keeping in mind that you have work tomorrow ... we will get going." Said Daniel, with a rather disgusting smile. The family then decided to get up too and leave my so called 'home'. "honestly , it was lovely being in your presence, next time my house and a home cooked meal." August said, rubbing my arm.

"Oh it was amazing having people here. And most certainly will clear my schedule for the next meeting." I replied, trying to be more willing to having more people in my life. "It's not a meeting, just a casual invitation to our home, don't be so formal about this." Said April, scoffing.

"I agree with April, totally making all this too formal. I actually feel like coffee now, got no cooking clue why..."Said Marcel in support of his sister. "I would not mind making you some, if you don't have an issue with that." I said to him, as everyone stood at the door. August, April and Daniel left and my dear new friend, Marcel stayed behind for his coffee.

"this coffee better worth it, cause I just blew off an early night for it." Marcel said, dramatically. "Okay good luck with that person." I said getting the coffee ready. "Can I say something?" He asked me and sat on my counter. "Yeah, no problem, shoot." I said as I took out some cups. "I have a problem with you." He said, being totally confusing to me.

"What do you mean to say?" I asked and stopped what I was doing. "I mean I like you, I get why Zeke was such a good friend to you and I get why he liked you. My problem is that you don't love yourself and the moment you spoke on stage that day I knew it. This is not my only problem. My problem is that I find you pretty, I find you incredibly beautiful and interesting and although I find so many things about you interesting, I will not try become someone more than your friend. Until you know ready for a relationship or ready for me -ready for yourself. I'm not making sense, I know... excuse me, I'm kind of struggling to say what it is I've been meaning to tell you..." He said, running his fingers in his hair.