[onhold] Through All Seasons

9│Winter: 'She's got everything I have to live without.'

I saw Tyler before he saw me. 

I was feeling very insecure about how to deal with the upcoming situation. How should I approach him? What should I say? What could I say? 

He was standing in line five or so people ahead of me. Since I didn't want to cut the line, I was waiting patiently behind him. 

"Hey River, come over here." Tyler spotted me and waved me over. Awkwardly I passed the five or so schoolmates in front of me. Luckily I didn't know one of them.

"Hi Tyler, do you think that's okay me cutting the line?" Instead of answering, he just laughed. 

"You're so innocent, I like that," he winked at me. "Please go ahead." He shoved me in front of him.

I got my food - vegetarian burger - and waited for Tyler to pay as well, so I could follow him like a lost puppy to the table we would sit at. Did he want to talk to me about something? Did he want to copy my notes or my homework? 

As we sat down, more of his football player friends joined us which somehow helped me to cope with the situation. So here I was, invisible River, sitting within ten football players, all eyeing me curiously. 

"Guys, cut the crap," Tyler said. He must have noticed the glances and my rising discomfort.  

"River, how's school so far?" He smiled at me lightly. I just noticed his big brown eyes which radiate friendliness and kindness. I didn't expect him to have so beautiful eyes. I feel like I was seeing him now for the first time. And I had to say, he was a good-looking man - or boy.  

"Well... I actually don't know. In the past two weeks, more has happened than in my first two years of high school," I said truthfully. 

"Like?" he questioned taking a bite from his burger. 

"Like you noticing me. Or besides that, anybody at all noticing me. I bet before Christmas you had no idea I was there at all," I smiled shyly. "And that's okay, I didn't mind. But now people seem to know me, and alongside, judge me. This situation is new to me." 

"Welcome to my world," he chuckled. "But you're wrong. I noticed you the first time you walked into the classroom in freshmen year, we had English together. But unfortunately, we just never got a chance to really talk to each other. And the current events led me to change that."

"Why do you want to change this?" I asked bluntly. I had to know where this was going. 

"I think you're more interesting than you think you are. I want to look behind the curtain, discover secrets and overall you, River." He looked me deep in the eyes so that I forgot we were in the middle of the cafeteria, surrounded by popular players and cheerleaders. I starred back. 

After a few seconds, I managed to bubble out: "I think you are exaggerating things here, Tyler." I laughed nervously and interrupt our intense starring battle. No one seemed to care what Tyler had just told me. "I am not special, or out of ordinary at all. I am just me, River." 

But I still thought about what he said. Is there something special about me? Well, I like mangas and fantasy romance books, not sure that's considered special, maybe just weird. As a child, I always played with cars, not with dolls. What about that? But I doubted that Tyler knew those information about me. Maybe he is a bit crazy, in a good way.

And in general, it seemed like he wanted to give the good old me a serious chance. But a chance for what? Is he seeking friendship or even more? But why go for a River, if there is an entire palette of cheerleaders available? 

"Let me show you how wrong you are," he grinned. "And it starts today. Let's go roller skating after school." 

"She can't." A deep voice behind me said. 

Tyler looked above my head in confusion. "And why is that?" 

"She has to study with me," Collin said upfront. 

"You have to study?" Tyler barked loudly. "Good one. Alright River, I'll meet you at the parking lot right after school." 

"I - am - not - making - any - jokes -here - Tyler," Collin said slowly and threatening that in the first time of our school life together I was actually scared of him. Now I was between Tyler and Collin who both looked at each other. "River and I practice today. Together." 

"Alright, bro. I didn't know that." Tyler held his hands up as in defense. "River, we will find a new day and time to go roller skating." He smiled at me but it seemed forced. 

I just nodded. I didn't want to get in between them. 

I quickly finished my burger and said goodbye. 

Neither Collin or Tyler responded. They seem to have mood problems as well. 

I quickly made my way out of the cafeteria and towards my locker. And someone I didn't want to see or talk to right now, was already waiting there for me. Damn. 

*****

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