[onhold] Through All Seasons

17│Winter: 'The heart wants what it wants.'

The weeks past by, we were already at the end of February.

School still sucked, but I did manage to keep my grades up. Even in Spanish I didn't fail and was able to receive a B. 

My Wednesday evenings were occupied with dancing with turned out to be a great stress reliever. In addition, Thomas and I hang out more. 

On one Wednesday after the dance lesson, we walked to his car. When we got inside and he started the engine, our conversation drifted to Collin. 

"You know, he's better than I expected him to be," admitted Thomas as he turned to the main road. 

"True." Whenever we talk about him, I got pretty uncommunicative. 

"Did something happen between you two?" 

"Nope, nothing at all. But Thomas, when we're at it, where are you at lunch all the time?" I knew this question would take his mind off Collin and me, and my mind as well. 

Sometimes I sit with Tyler, but most of the times I chose to eat alone. Tyler often darted concerned looks at me then, but I didn't care. 

My point is Thomas is still a rare person to be seen at lunch. 

"Me?" He asked innocently. 

"No the car, which I just named Thomas." I rolled my eyes. "You knew this question would come." 

"Of course. Most of the times I'm in the auditorium and work on the play," he said cagey. "There we are, see you tomorrow." 

I didn't miss the uncomfortable tone in his voice which lead me to question is answer. 

At lunch the next day, I changed my plans of sitting alone and joined some of my drama colleagues Kyle and Claire. And today, to my surprise, Thomas joined us. 

"Hey guys." We looked up to see Tyler. "Can I borrow River for a moment?" He shot them a Hollywood smile, so they all just nodded dumbfoundly. 

I got up and followed Tyler outside the cafeteria. 

"What's up?" I asked him when he stopped. 

"I was wondering if you'd like to hang out sometime," he said. "Maybe on the weekend when we're both not too busy." 

"Yes, sure. But unfortunately this weekend I'm busy. Maybe the next one?" 

"Alright, then that's a date. I'll figure something out for us to do." He winked and took my hand as he lead me back to my colleagues and my food. 

"Here you have River back." The entire table knowingly starred at me, while Tyler just grinned innocently as I shot him a warning look. 

Today was Monday and it marked the one month anniversary of my kiss with Collin. Immediately after he pulled away, he said he had to go and left. No words were spoken after his swift disappearance. And I thought to myself, all is good now, even better. 

On the first day of school after the kiss I couldn't wait to see Collin, but he wasn't in history and at lunch I didn't see him as well even though I sat at their table. He didn't show up the entire week, which got me thinking why. My poor self-esteem went through a phase there. When he showed up again, he didn't pay attention to more than ever. In history class, I looked at him curiously, but he didn't look up. The drama classes were not better. It seemed like Collin had been reseted to the beginning of the year. No sign of emotions or feelings towards me at all.

Mid-February I gathered all my courage to talk to him about our kiss. Mostly because I wanted to hear that it wasn't my fault and my inexperience with kissing that he stayed out of school. So after one drama class, I caught up to him and simply asked. Well, it wasn't simple, but I asked anyway. "What was the kiss all about and why did you miss school afterward?" And all I got was "I was sick." Then he went for the parking lot and disappeared with his super shiny car.