[onhold] Through All Seasons

20│Winter: 'Life was never worse, but never better.'

As promised, a few days later I was free like a bird. On my first day of school my mom drove me. She wouldn't let me take my bike just yet even though she had let it get fixed. "America is not ready for bicycles yet," she pointed out again and again. Even though I tried to reason with her that nothing had happened in the previous years to me on my bike, she still insisted on driving me.

She slowed down her workload and was only working now for 40 hours a week. She made it her priority to spend time with me. For the first time in many years, it felt like family again.

"I'll pick you up after school. Don't keep me waiting or I'll come in," she warned me with a wink.

"Yes, Mom. But I have drama class after school, so I won't be finished until at least 6PM."

"Perfect. Have a marvelous time." She waved and drove off as soon as I closed the door behind me.

I inhaled deeply before I made my way to the big entrance of our school.

Everything went back to normal very quickly. I didn't miss too much school material and in drama class I was also able to step back into the protagonist's role Lily.

Everything seemed fine, and also ... not fine at all. My memory was still like a messed-up puzzle. Sometimes I got flashbacks of memories, but as soon as I tried to grab them, they were gone. My frustration grew with each day.

"Honey, don't force it. It will come back naturally," my mom said at dinner when I told her about my anger and frustration.

"You don't know how it's like to lose your memory," I spat, eating my spaghetti angrily now.

"No, I don't, but I still believe that force is the wrong approach. Have you tried meditating?"

"No, I have trouble calming down," I admitted. "It feels like a tornado rages inside me."

"I have no doubt that you can do it. Just try and try." She smiled warmly at me.

Back in my room I saw I received a text from Tyler. Since he visited me in the hospital, we've been texting quite a lot.

It was mid-March and the weather slowly turned to the bright side again. The sun showed her face more often and delighted us with her warmth.

After school, it was Thursday, no drama class, I met Tyler at his car. He drove us to the local ice cream shop. We both ordered and sat happily on a bench next to the shop.

"Ah, I love it here," I sighed, licking the ice cream.

"Me too. I'm glad it opened again."

"So, how's football?" I tried making small talk even though I still had no clues how this sport worked and was played.

"The usual. But recently we've lost too many games, if you don't win the next one, we'll be screwed," Tyler said slowly, and I realized that it was important to him.