High Walls// LS

Chapter 6- Harry

Chapter 6:

The ride back to the inn was agonizing. Louis's hand stayed clutched in mine the whole way there, and he kept looking at me in excitement. My eyes were getting heavy now, but I didn't want to be tired. I wanted to have enough energy to be with Lou tonight.

Niall finally pulls into a spot, and all of us hop out. I follow them down the long hallway and into their shared suite, and Louis pulls me toward his door immediately.

"Well goodnight then," Zayn calls out with a loud laugh.

I turn and look back at the other boys, all of them giving me suggestive looks. Niall jokingly thrust his hips and makes a loud sexual noise, so I flip him off and turn back to follow Lou.

"Don't be too loud tonight," Niall yells.

I laugh and respond "Shut the hell up Neil."

Louis shuts the door behind us and pulls me into a deep kiss. My shoulders drop and I remember how good it feels to kiss him. He wraps one hand around my neck and pushes me against the wall.

Holy shit.

When did he become the aggressive one? My thoughts fade as quickly as they appeared as I feel a hand pull my hair. A loud moan slips through my mouth, completely disregarding the request the others had just made. "Gosh Lou, slow down baby."

He laughs but continues to kiss me, now moving his lips down the side of my neck.

"I missed you too much, Harry." he responds.

My body moves on its own as I take control, walking us backwards until the back of Louis's knees buckle against the side of the bed. His gasp gives me access and I quickly slide my tongue into his mouth, pressing it against his.

He sits up to scoot back on the bed and takes his shirt off. Time stops as I see his now muscular chest, littered with even more tattoos since the last time we were in this position. One catches my eye in particular.

A small name sits on his ribcage, and like a tsunami, reality comes crashing down on me.

Freddie

I climb off of him, and sit down on the edge of the bed with my back facing him. Tears prick my eyes as I feel him quickly moving to see what had changed.

"Harry?"

He's not mine. I can't sleep with him, no matter how much I want him right now. We just wouldn't work out. Even though I know came out earlier today, my mind still feels with thoughts of rejection. He wouldn't raise his son with another man, would he? So much has changed now, and we aren't the same people we used to be. If he knew me now, he wouldn't want to be anywhere near me. I'm a mess.

Louis scoots next to me and grabs my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. He furrows his brows as he sees the tears building. "What happened, babe? What did I do wrong?" he ask, sadness evident in every word.

I move his hand away from my chin and look down towards my lap.

"This is stupid. I can't sleep with you, you will just hurt me," I say softly.

I hear a small gasp come from his lips at my shallow words. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes before I finally build the courage to look back up at him.

My eyes meet his and I realize he has been looking at me the whole time. Tears roll down his face and I feel my heart break even more.

He pulls his hand from where it rested on my back and wipes his tears before he says words that cut deep, "You hurt me, you bastard. I loved you and you broke my heart."

He crawls off the bed before standing in front of me and continuing, "I gave you everything Harry. I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life and you left me, all because I wasn't ready to come out yet. I was scared that everyone else would ruin what we had built, and then you ruined it before we even gave them the chance."

His voice gets louder with every word and he looks at me for a response.

Tears resurface in my eyes as I realize how much pain he was still in. All of these years, I viewed myself as the victim. The boy who didn't love me enough to come out, the boy who slept with some slut two days after we were over, the boy who had a son with that same hook-up. It wasn't him, it was me.

I was the bad guy; I am the bad guy.

I start crying, and not just a little, I start ugly crying. Sobs wrack through my body as I think about all the suffering I had caused for the both of us. None of this would have happened if I had just been patient.

Even though he's upset at me, Lou sits down next to me again and pulls me into his chest. "Harry, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm still pretty intoxicated. Please stop crying, baby."

I hear his words, but I don't believe them. I knew he meant every word, even if the only way he would say them was after a lot of alcohol. I try to calm down, but my mind won't stop racing. Breathing becomes harder as I continue to break down in Lou's arms and I feel a panic attack coming on.

Like he can read my thoughts Louis grabs my chin again forcing me to look at him and says, "Harry, you've got to calm down or you're going to get overwhelmed."

He moves around me, and starts to rub my shoulders in an effort to comfort me. My body starts to loosen up as his palms magically dance around my skin, but tears still fall down my face.

"Wise men say, only fools rush in. But I can't help... falling in love with you," he starts singing softly.

Like many times before, his smooth voice pulls me out of my head and eases the pain. I feel myself start to calm down, and he notices too. His massage turns into soft back scratches and goose bumps appear all over my skin.

I turn around to face him and speak up; "I'm so sorry that I hurt you. I didn't realize how much pain it caused you."

A soft smile appears on his face and his teary eyes glisten as the moon shines through the window of his room.

He grabs my hands and kisses each one before responding. "I know, Haz. I am sorry too. You aren't the only one at fault here."

Reaching up, he wipes the few remaining tears off of my cheeks and leans toward me. A soft kiss lands on my right cheek, making me blush.

"Let's just sleep, okay babe?" he ask me in a gentle tone.

I nod in agreement and strip down to my boxers before sliding under the covers. He does the same, and I feel him scoot closer to me. My body relaxes as he spoons me, and my eyes start getting heavy once again.

He presses a soft kiss to my shoulder and whispers "Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight, Lou. Thank you for being so understanding tonight." I respond as I fade out of consciousness.

Before I completely fall asleep I hear him speak again. "Not a problem. I will always be here for you, Harry. Always."

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Aww!! That was a sweet chapter to write and it made me a little emotional. Harry and Lou are so loving and precious. Hope all of you are safe and healthy during this quarentine!

Cass