Outsider

Nineteen

There is no room for error.  There would be no do-overs, no second chances- we either make it, or our lives would be over.  But, at eleven years old, I was used to death.  

Or so I thought.

A fierce storm raged outside the Hydra base.  Snow and sleet slashed at the windows like bullets.  A ghostly wind howled outside.  Inside the rooms of the base, the ground and walls had grown cold, a faint smell of crisp, fresh snow seeping through them.  Although the first days of October had settled in, this blizzard took over and destroyed transformation from autumn to winter.  Hydra soldiers reported that this blizzard was like 'none they had ever seen.'  Record-breaking, this bedlam of a storm lasted many days.  Distraught, I wondered how Oliver and I would escape in the blizzard, but my friend assured me that this would come to our advantage.

"Don't worry, Liss," Oliver whispered calmly one night.  "If we are careful and can escape, this storm will work to our advantage.  Hydra would never deploy a full army to look for us in the midst of a blizzard like this."

I nodded, but silently I fretted with the idea that we may freeze to death.  Hydra would come across our cold, dead bodies.  I shuddered.

One more event worked to our advantage as well.  Alexander Pierce had returned from some business in America, and expected a briefing to be held for all the Hydra officers.  That would mean less guards for us to sneak past; less chance of getting caught.  We were cutting it close, with the date of our memory wipes beginning on October sixth, and us escaping on the night of October fifth.  But, once again Oliver said reassuringly that we would make it work.

October fifth arrived sooner than I had expected, and sooner than I had hoped.  I still felt unprepared, something was bound to go wrong.  My heart pounded like a hammer inside my chest all day, I was disoriented and sick to my stomach.  Nonchalantly, I would ask Hydra soldiers the time, as there were no clocks in the training centre.  Each hour my symptoms of nervousness grew, until around dinnertime I was a ghost, trembling with anxious sweat- even though it was freezing outside.  

I was worried because when Papa and I tried to escape, it failed.  However, that was because I didn't listen to him.  I promised this time I would listen to Oliver.  That night, my friend suggested that we get a few hours of sleep before escaping at approximately one 'o clock in the morning.  Smirking, Ollie pulled a watch he pickpocketed off a Hydra soldier so we could figure out the time.  Alexander Pierce's meeting started at quarter to one, a guard change would be at one, a perfect time for us to slip away.  We crawled through the vents for one of the last times of my life, into the barracks where Hydra kept extra uniforms.  Although they were oversized and heavy, we took winter trench coats to protect ourselves from the harsh weather.  The knife was still in my cell, and I hid it in the pocket of my trench coat- way back where no one could find it.  I slipped my training clothes over my nightgown for warmth, and I lay in bed, clasping my boarding pass to my chest.

I thought sleep should've come easily, but it didn't.  Everything had worked in our favour so far, I should have been able to relax knowing that we would be free in a matter of hours.  Yet, I knew in the back of my mind something had to go wrong.  Something always did.  My mind drifted to my stomach, and I felt my hands touch the scarred areas where Hydra performed the sterilization procedure.  The scars felt bruised and stiff, almost as if they had just freshly healed; even though they healed over a year ago!  

Phantom pain.  

If they caught us again, my punishment would be far, far worse than sterilization.  That was a gut-wrenching thought.  Twisting in my cot, I was now shivering instead of sweating.  What was the time?  How much longer do I have to wait in agony?  I shut my eyes.

And I saw him.  Papa.

"Oh Papa, I am afraid," I whispered.

Papa's blue eyes sparkled and he said, smiling, "Mein kind, don't be afraid."

"Hydra will kill me if I'm caught," I murmured, my vision of him growing hazy.

"Liebling, you are strong.  You are strong."

I opened my eyes.  Leaning over me was Oliver.

"It's time."