The Exchange

Chapter 16- Rum Makes You Numb

"Why did you come to England?" Sasha queried Julien, twirling the straw in her drink.

They were sitting at a wooden table in the local pubs garden. The air had become chilly as early evening descended but it was still light outside. As it wasn't a weekend there weren't many people about, only a handful of regulars and the bar staff.

Sasha loved the smell of pubs. A smell that could be found no where else; salty, sometimes  caramel-like, with malt aromas . It reminded her of her passed grandfather, a man she could only remember by his hearty laugh, big hands and weakness for beer. But the stories Annette recounted to her about him meant he would always have a special place in Sasha's heart. It didn't matter that his image was blurry in her mind.

"Well", Julien began, contemplating his answer, "I like this country and, uhm, my father".

He glanced up at Sasha, not bothering to expand, "What about you?" 

A puzzled look crossed Sasha's features, "Why did I come to England?" she said, chewing her lower lip.

Julien's mouth split into a grin, so the dimples in his cheeks became more prounounced, and began to chuckle before creasing over completely. His broad shoulders bounced in time to his laughter and his curly chocolate hair sprung about on his head. 

Sasha's own lips curled upwards as she watched Julien crack up in front of her. His good temper seemed to be having an effect on hers too, lightening her own mood. She liked making him smile, even if it was only because she'd misunderstood the situation.

She was drawn to this side of him. His happy, carefree side. Sasha hoped Julien would stay like this, and not suddenly snap or turn back to the obnoxious asshole she'd first met.

"Nooo," Julien drawled, "I meant what about your father?"

Sasha's grin slipped off her face, "Oh".

She hung her head, remembering the phone call from earlier.

Noticing the sudden change in atmosphere Julien extended his arm, placing a finger underneath Sasha's chin and slowly lifted her head.

Catching her eyes he gave her a sympathetic look, "We don't have to talk about it if you not want to?"

Sasha  smiled faintly at Julien's broken English. It made him sound so sweet.

She sighed, fiddling with the rings on her fingers. It wasn't that she didn't trust Julien, it was just that saying it out loud meant that it was for definite. And she'd also be confirming how spineless and weak she was around her father.

"Well him and my mother are divorced" Sasha began, her voice trembled, "And he now lives with his new wife and baby".

She'd always hated talking about her personal life, even with her friends. She felt like it was easier to keep it inside and didn't want to bother people with her troubles. Besides they always had something that they wanted to discuss instead (usually to do with either breaking up or getting together with a boy) which would immediatly take priority. 

Sasha didn't want to suddenly blurt out all the things that were going wrong for her in case they thought she was messed up. Or worse, thought she was trying to compete with them by bringing her own baggage to the table. Besides, she didn't like being vulnerable and letting her walls down. That way they'd be able to walk all over her. 

These were all Sasha's internal fears but really she didn't know how people would react to the shit she'd been through. She didn't know because she wouldn't let anyone in to find out. And, in all these years, no one had thought to ask her either.