The Exchange

Chapter 42- Hurricane Sasha

Sasha didn't like her fathers new house. Although large and spacious it was quite overwhelming and everything seemed to be very exposing. Large glass window panes had been used as walls on the east and south sides of the home. A balcony bordered the open plan structure which held a table and chairs able to fit a small dinner party.

Pamela considered herself an amateur interior designer and had the money to fill her house with expensive antiques and contemporary ornaments. Although on the outside the architectural structure was very modern she did not subscribe to the minimalist style and instead loved to adorn and embellish. 

The garden was also contained and no plants had been allowed to grow wildly or undisturbed. The maintained green lawn was lined by neat rows of shrubbery and roses and everything seemed to have a purpose and a position. 

It was very different to their home with Annette which was not as tidy and which had a sense of freedom between the walls where objects found their own place (like Ben's socks hanging over and open window) rather than being given one. 

Everything was too perfect in her fathers house. It didn't seem homely but rather something that was there only for display. Sasha felt constantly worried that if she moved something out of place she would be sucked into the dark depths of the earth simply for destroying the order.

The building was made even more eerie by the echoing sounds that bounced off the walls. Just like an old, rundown house (although visually it was far from this) it creaked in the wind and the glass banged as gusts rushed past. 

After dinner the weather had taken a turn for the worst and it was pouring with terrential rain outside. The dark sky moaned and cracked under the storms pressure and lights from neighbouring houses glinted like ships lost at sea in the downpour. 

Watching the black rumbling clouds Sasha practised the conversation with her father for the 7th time in her head. A conversation that she had been planning to set in motion ever since they'd arrived and which concerned her university options. Tonight she would brave the beast and ask that they perhaps consider other courses for her future, namely English Lit.

After endless amounts of deliberation and turning Julien's words of advice over and over in her head Sasha knew that she couldn't throw 4 years of her life away studying Law. It just wasn't what she wanted to do, no matter how much her father might disagree. 

And it was terrifying to admit that she could not go through with it and that she needed to abolish all former plans and start a new one. Applying for another degree meant that she would have to wait a whole year as applications were now closed and that would leave her stuck in the same town while everyone she knew left.

But even that was a better option than training to do something that she wasn't passionate about. Julien was right! She couldn't let anyone control her future, especially not her father. 

Sasha knew that Martin's strong advocation of Law was largely due to his own personal interest in the subject. He himself worked as a legal recruiter and dealt wtih law firms on a daily basis but this did not mean that she would inevitably want to follow in his footsteps. They were very very different people with contrasting outlooks on the world. 

Leaving Ben doodling bright-coloured monsters in the guest bedroom Sasha ventured out to find her father who was buried away somewhere in the large mansion. 

----

Martin's study was low lit and the curtians were drawn concealing out battering rain outdoors. It was a snug room fitted with built in shelves that contained an assortment of books and a row of encyclopedia's. 

Peering around the door Sasha spotted her father at his desk paging through a highlighted documented. The lamp on his table encased him in a warm spot-light that created a shadow behind him who mirrored all his movements. 

Swallowing her fear Sasha rapped lightly on the door, "Dad are you busy?

Martin raised his head meeting his daughter gaze with tired eyes, "I am little busy... but I suppose I can have a quick chat". 

Sasha maintained her position by the door unsure of whether to venture further into the room. It wasn't often that she found herself left alone with her father and he appeared even more intimidating looming over the large metal desk.

"You can take a seat", Martin said motioning towards one of the empty chairs opposite him.

Sasha nodded and scurried over to the seat, quickly placing herself on the edge so as not to make him wait. He hated it when people were slow-moving, it was one of his many pet peeves.

Smoothing out her skirt she gave him a quick smile before focusing her eyes on the glass paper weight instead of her fathers face. She'd learnt from a young age that much like a Chimpanzee, her father saw it as a sign of aggression to look him directly in the eye. He saw it as a threat 

Placing his pen on the desk Martin leaned back in his chair so it gave a small squeak, "Couldn't you sleep? It's quite late isn't it?"

"It's 10 o'clock", Sasha exclaimed, "I'm 17! I usually go to bed way later than this".

Martin lifted his eyebrow, "Oh right, I see. Well, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Swallowing loudly she crossed her legs before taking a deep breath in.

She was here now. There was no going back. 

"So I was just thinking.. and have been thinking a lot... uhm about the University Course I've applied for".

Martin shot her a lazy smile, "You'll make a great barrister or solicitor. They're both very respectable and highly esteemed job. Plus the pay isn't half bad which is always an extra". 

Sasha nodded , "Yes I know but I've really been considering my options. I mean Law with Criminal Justice is a 4 year degree and it's a lot of work and I'm just not sure it's right for me".

There, she'd said it. All to do now was wait for his reply and fingers crossed he would be understanding, but she wasn't holding her breath.

"What do you mean?", her father questioned straightening his posture so he was sitting further up in his chair.

Sasha eyed him cautiously, "I mean, I've been looking at other courses and.. I don't know.. maybe we could research some of them together and look at some more options".

She could see his face begin to scrunch up as he tried to understand what she was saying. Her words just didn't comprehend in his head causing lines of worry to cut across his forehead. 

"I don't understand. You want to do Law don't you? We've been set on this for ages!", he asked with a bemused expression.

"I know but..."

"What else would you do anyway? What else could make you want to turn down this amazing opportunity?", Martin cut in not allowing Sasha time to explain. 

"But I...", she tried again.

Her father flared his nostrils as he took a deep breath in before placing his palms on the desk, "Look I think you're just nervous, and that's okay. But you're young and you don't really know what you want. I mean I didn't at you age! So listen to your old man and go study law at Goldsmiths. I promise you, you will be thanking me in the future".

"Can I just show you some of the English Literature course that I have read up about though?", Sasha begged.

Shaking his head Martin gave a snort, "English Literature? Really? No, no, listen to me, I mean it! I wish I'd had a father who supported me and advised me to get the best out of my life when I was your age. I'm helping to pay for your university course too so shouldn't you be a little more grateful? I didn't get half as lucky when I was younger".

"Dad I am grateful", Sasha pleaded, "but could you just please take a look?"

There was a tense pause in the conversation and she raised her gaze slowly knowing instantly that she had pushed him too far. A raging fire had begun to sizzle in his eyes piercing into his daughter and burning her inside and out. With a clenched fist he slammed the desk causing a pot of pens to fall to the floor. 

"Right, stop this now! I've had enough! We've worked long and hard to get you into Goldsmiths and you're going! There are no if's and but's!", he snapped.

"Would you just listen to me?!", Sasha retorted, her own temper beginning to flare. There was something relieving about starting to release the pent up anger that she had towards her father. 

"You never listen. You didn't listen to Ben at dinner and you're not listening to me now!", she cried flinging her hands in the air. She gulped, surprised by the anger in her voice. Usually she would never dream of acting this way infront of him but something had clicked inside of her. 

Martin's mouth fell open with such force Sasha worried that his teeth might come out. He stayed frozen for a moment as though he had been put on pause before replacing his shock with a blank expression, his eyes like ice.

"You should be thanking me rather than coming in here and suddenly changing your mind. That's not the way the world works and you better learn that now or you'll get a huge shock in the future. So sit down, shut up and stop acting like you know better than me!".

He was seething! Any minute now and steam would begin to spurt from his ears or he'd open his jaws to unveil sharp teeth that would rip Sasha to shreds. Her heart beat was thrumming in her ears and pumping so fast she was scared that she might suddenly combust.

Here was the side of her father that she had been praying wouldn't emerge. No such luck.

Hanging her head in defeat she attempted to steady her breathing. No wonder he always got his way, he was terrifying!

But she also couldn't stand him. She couldn't stand his ego , his stubborn nature, his condescending manner. She couldn't stand how obsessed he was with controlling everything around him, no matter how miniscule. How had her mother survived their marriage for all those years? Had he really changed that much?

He was infuriating and she certainly didn't want to be in the same room with him any longer! Jumping to her feet she turned on her heel and stalked away, slamming the door to his study as she left.