The Exchange

Chapter 40- Suffer Zone

Sasha closed her eyes as the water from the shower trickled down her face and soaked her hair flat against her head. The warm spray was comforting and the steam encased her body like a consoling hug.

She wanted to wash away all the stress that had occurred throughout the day and ease the stiffness from her muscles. She felt as though she had been tensing for hours and were constantly bracing her limbs as though she might have to run at any moment. 

The shower was her solace. A place that locked everyone out and kept her protected and safe. 

It had been hard facing Julien after the intense conversation with Cass and Polly and Sasha knew that she hadn't dealt with everything in the best possible way. But what was the right way to deal with it all?

She only ever felt powerful around Julien when she was angry, otherwise her emotions would get in the way and make her feel weak.

And she was furious with him, even if it wasn't his fault directly, because she could not have him. She would not allow herself to have him when she knew that he would eventually leave. 

Turning the shower off she stepped onto the bath matt, taking a deep breath in before wrapping a towel around her body. 

She'd argued with her two best friends AND a boy who meant more to her than she was willing to admit in just 3 hours. The day had been incredibly eventful and tiring and she just wanted it to be over now.

Wiping a hand over the mirror to remove the fog a reflection of a tired and pale girl came into view. Her brow was creased from worry and her mouth was pinched into a miserable pucker. 

Where was the bright, light-hearted girl that Sasha used to recognise? Wasn't this summer meant to be the one where things would change? And yes things had changed, just not for the best. 

Her mobile beeped from where it sat on the side of the sink and its screen lit up showing  a number of texts. Picking it up she scrolled through the messages from an 'Unknown number'.

Unknown: Hey it's Gabriel
Unknown: Hru?
Unknown: Still suffering?

Sasha: How did you know?

Gabriel: I have my ways
Gabriel: How was the rest of the party?
Gabriel: Did it get any better after i left?

Sasha: It was okay :)
Sasha: Thanku for the pizza- made it sm better!

Gabriel: I live to please

Sasha: U really are a saint aren't u

Gabriel: You betcha
Gabriel: If ur ever feeling low I'm always down 2 hang out btw
Gabriel: Unless of course I'm busy delivering those yummy pizza's

Sasha: I wouldn't advise getting close to me :')
Sasha: U might start suffering too

Gabriel: I shared pizza with u
Gabriel: It's only fair u share ur time with me :) :)
Gabriel: and I feel like we'd get on

Sasha: Ur sweet, thank you

Gabriel: Anytime
Gabriel: So I'll see u soon?

Sasha: Going 2 my dad's for the weekend
Sasha: when I'm back I'll message u

Gabriel: Cool, have fun

Clicking off the chat Sasha held her mobile to her chest as a small smile began to work its way onto her face. Gabriel always seemed to know when she longed to talk to someone and then made her feel better every time. He was like her personal angel, watching and waiting until she needed him.

Heck, she barely knew him but he'd done more for her during the few times they had spent together than most of the other people she was close to in her life. 

His sympathy was even more appreciated now that she wasn't on speaking terms with Cass and Polly. They'd never argued this intensely before and it made Sasha consider their worries even more carefully. Sure they'd bickered in the past or fought over silly things but never to this extreme which meant that they were really concerned.

Sasha usually backed down before things got properly heated preferring to admit defeat than risk a huge fallout. Fighting made her uncomfortable and she'd never been that great at it.

Ever since her parents had begun their distressing arguments she vowed never to reach their level of hate-filled abuse. And Cass could be very offensive with her blunt comments (sometimes not even purposefully) but Sasha had learnt to hold her tongue which is what had kept 'the pussy pack' afloat for so long.