Together As One

This state of me

[Hyejin's POV]

 I feel my head getting wonky. 

We were at our VR kit press release and there were many reporters there firing questions away. 

"Hwasa ssi, we have a question for you. Recently there has been some rumours of you still engaging in self-harm, do you have a response towards such rumours?" 

I feel my palms start to get sweaty. 

Tell them the truth you coward. I'm sure all your fans will be disappointed with how you are right now. Your answer will merely be a way for them to hate you more. 

"Uh... I... I decline to comment anything. There is nothing to say about this rumour." I stutter a little, hands starting to shake. 

Oh you big fat coward. Scared of what the public is going to think? How much worse will their hate towards you get? Death threats are something you deserve anyways. 

I shake my head unconsciously rather violently. Fortunately, none of the reporters or host caught that action. 

"Okay, we will accept one last question?" I hear Yongsun unnie announce into the mic. Hands started shooting up but I could no longer focus on the question. 

Luckily for me, the question was not directed at me, if not, it would be yet another disaster that I have caused. As we bow to say their goodbyes and words of gratitude, I feel a warm hand slip into mine. She gently squeezes it, as though trying to ask if I was okay. I turn and take a glance at her, shifting my eyes awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact. Her eyebrows were raised, giving me a knowing look. I shake my head again and simply smile.

 You think you really are getting better? Just because you have been feeling less depressed, useless, worthless, and helpless doesn't mean that you aren't. You can't change the cold hard facts Hyejin. You can only live in denial of the truth. 

"Shut up please." I mumble angrily at the voice in my head. 

"What did you say Hyejin ah?" I hear Wheein ask me. 

Shit. I forgot she was there right beside me the entire time. 

"It's nothing. Was just muttering random words. Tired as usual." I offer a fake smile. We had one last venue to go and we had to perform 2 songs, so I had to try my best to keep myself together and be professional. I didn't want to disappoint our moomoos with a sub-standard performance. 

"Don't lie to me Hyejin ah. I can tell you weren't yourself after receiving that question Hyejin ah. Just 2 more hours okay? Hang in there for a bit. I promise you, you aren't anything the voices are telling you." Wheein pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead and I can only give her a small smile. I really didn't want her to get over worried because she was likely to be fighting her own fears in her head at the moment. 

[Moonbyul's POV] 

"Unnie... wasn't that question too much? It was so out of context and just unnecessary of that man to ask Hyejinnie that question!" I exclaimed in a loud whisper and Yongsun unnie nodded her head. 

"I know Byul ah~ But before I could say anything, Hyejinnie already replied. She's getting better anyways, her therapist said she's making lots of improvement and finally can have a lower dosage of medication. I just hope this doesn't trigger her relapse again." Yongsun unnie sighed and shook her head. 

"Hyejinnie you okay?" I wrapped my arm around her body, pulling her close to me, using my hand to rub her arm gently knowing she liked that. 

"Yeah, I'm fine unnie. Don't worry. Let's just focus on this last performance event okay?" She offers me a weak smile and I knew immediately how much she must be hurting inside at the moment. I let go of her and she wanders off.