See You in a Minute

N A T A S H A

❝Would you rather her dead?❞
- Bucky Barnes

× × ×

I was back. But I was back alone.

"Natasha?" Sam's voice was the first thing I heard. It was full of disbelief.

I don't blame him for his reaction. I was dead. I was gone. But then I wasn't and it was all because of Steve.

Somehow, I always end up lying to Steve. I keep telling him that I'll see him in a minute even though I really won't. I keep leaving our goodbyes with some sort of hope when there really isn't but I just can't bring myself to end it with just a simple farewell that doesn't lead to any future. God, he doesn't deserve that.

He could've convinced me to stay. He could if he tried a little more. At one point, I even considered staying at 1970 just so that I won't have to deal with the truth that I'm leaving him. I've gotten so used to being with him that living without him already seemed odd. But if I stayed, then I was just setting myself up for torture.

I love Steve. More than as someone I work with, more than a friend. But he doesn't feel the same way. If I stayed and let him be happy with Peggy the way I know I would, then what would become of me? I'd lose myself and I'll just end up regretting every single decision I've made until I inevitably hate him. It wasn't fair but it was right so I chose the hard option. I know I didn't technically see Steve be happy with Peggy but I know she won't disappoint. The mere mention of her name brings glee in his eyes unlike any other that it's quite hard to picture him miserable with her. It wasn't easy to watch him be joyous about the girl he loves while there I was, loving him, but all I ever wanted for him was happiness and she was his so I made sure I'll be the one to pave the way for what he deserves.

It was obvious to me that he'd never feel the same way so I simply accepted the truth. It hurts like hell but I'm accustomed to pain. It'll be over soon.

I just wish I didn't fall for him.

They were right—love is for children.

I never understood that before. But now, everything is clear.

I nodded at their direction, fighting to urge to laugh at their faces. So this is what they'd look like if they see a ghost. "Hey, Sam, Barnes..." I trailed off as my eyes landed on Bruce who's jaw remained open while he stared at me with wide eyes. I smiled at him, "Hey, Bruce."

I don't regret my decision to go back. I will stand by my choice and nothing's gonna change my mind.

I accept the consequences of what I did but it doesn't mean that just because you've accepted what is, means that it's easy to be happy.

We've won but we've lost so much more, too. Why did everything have to come with a price?

Being here, my mind couldn't grasp the reality that Tony's gone and now so is Steve. I'm gonna be okay, I know that. But it will take time for me to get used to no more of the unamusing witty remarks and the all around righteousness which always seemed to surround me.

"But-but you died!" Sam exclaimed as he continued to stare at me with creased eyebrows.

"Would you rather her dead?" Barnes asked as I raised an eyebrow at Sam's direction.

"Is that all you really have to say to me?"

"Nat," Bruce's soft voice called out to me and I transfered my attention to him. "Ho-how are you alive? You were—"

"I was dead, Bruce," I cut him off with a smile. "but Steve exchanged the soul stone to get me back so here I am."

Despite everything that has happened, the smile I'm giving them now was genuine. It's so good to see them alive, to see their confused yet familiar faces. It's good to see them bickering like they always have. On normal occasions, I would tell them to shut up and focus on what's more important but I don't want to have to be the one to do that now. It's these little moments that show our character, that makes us remembered. It brought back the sense of home I needed.

"No kidding," Sam said. I narrawed my eyes at him and he instantly put his hands up in surrender.

"Where is he, Nat?" Barnes asked me, concern evident in his voice. "Where's Steve?"

I looked away from him and stepped off the time machine. I can feel my heart breaking with every step that I take further away. It's like I'm walking away from him. "He's not coming back. He's with Peggy now in 1970."

"Peggy?" Barnes asked and I nodded my head.

"Yes, her," I answered firmly. "Where's Clint? Thor?"

It was Bruce who answered. "Clint's back at the farm with his family and I think Thor's returned to New Asgard."

I smiled contentedly. "Can I see Pepper and Morgan?" I asked lightly.

"Do you know about—"

I cut him off. "I do. I want to check on his girls. Where are they?"

"Morgan's being taken to school by Happy and Pepper's there," Bruce said as he nodded at the direction of the house.

"Thank you."

I started walking toward the direction of the house when Barnes stopped me. "Wait, Natasha!" he exclaimed. I turned around and waited for what he had to say. "What? Are we... are we gonna turn off the time machine?"

Is the answer not obvious? Why does he still have to ask? He's the best friend. He should know.

"Steve wants to stay in 1970. He's with Peggy. He's not coming back," I told him firmly. "But it's your call. Turn it off, leave it on—you guys decide."

As I started walking away from them, I heard Barnes telling Bruce to leave it open. He says he doesn't believe that Steve will stay there. Oh well. Hate to disappoint him. After all, what reason does he have to come back?