See You in a Minute

N A T A S H A

❝Why do you think I chose to come back?❞
- Natasha Romanoff

× × ×

As I walked going to Tony and Pepper's cabin, my eyes caught sight of a specific brown haired girl standing by a large tree.

"Wanda?" I asked slowly as I approached her.

She turned around to face me, squinting her eyes at the person who called her. When she realized it was me, her eyes widened and she ran towards me immediately. I hugged her tightly and she did the same, "Nat! Oh my God, I thought you were gone," her voice cracked at the last part of her sentence as she stifle her tears with terrible effort.

I pulled away from her as I offered a soft smile while she wiped her tears away. "How... how are you back? Clint said you sacrificed yourself so we can get the soul stone..."

"I did," I told her, trying to push away the memories of what happened in Vormir. "It was because of Steve. He traded the soul stone for me. I wouldn't be back if it wasn't for him."

"So, where is he?" Wanda asked. "Where's Cap? I need to give him a massive thanks."

"He stayed in 1970," I said, looking away from her as I swallow the lump in my throat.

"He stayed?" she asked in a way that says she couldn't believe he could do such a thing. "Does that mean he's not coming back?"

Natasha slowly nodded. I decided to change the topic quickly—I don't want to talk about him. "How's Clint?" I asked lightly.

"He tells his family he loves them everyday," she replied softly as she looked at me.

I can imagine him saying that to them every single day and it bright a contented smile on my face. "Have you seen Pepper? I wanna talk to her."

"Pepper left after she saw Steve go back in time. She wanted to stay until she sees Steve come back but... I guess that's not happening," Wanda ended quite awkwardly. "Besides, she had to leave because her work needs her. The company can't run by itself, right?"

I chuckled, "Right."

Wanda and I walked around the Starks' place together. The pain of this war could still be felt and it surrounds every single one of us, but I'm glad I could find comfort in Wanda even if it still wasn't enough.

She was telling me about the pain she felt and how much she wants to move on. She told me that everyday, she sees Vision in everyone and that everything her gaze settles on reminds her of him. She told me that even though she did have time to accept his death, it's still not easy. Not easy to live, not easy to be who she is again. She still haven't moved on.

Moving on seems like an easy enough job but to do it is never as easy as the idea implores. Everything that hurt you, everything you know you'll leave behind—how can you possibly walk away from something that meant so much to you before?

But you can't keep living in a reality that doesn't exist anymore. You have a new reality and you need to be able to see yourself in it. You're still alive and you have a future ahead of you, no matter how hard it is to believe it.

But maybe that's the bittersweet thing about moving on—it's not telling you to forget about everyone, to just bury every single memory that hurts you and lock it. No, moving on is about living for everything that hurt you, it's living for everything that changed you, and it's living for everything you desire for. Because in the pain you felt, there's learning. In the changes that happened to you, there's experience. And all these things, all of it will keep you moving forward until you can finally live for what you want for yourself and for everybody that you care about. Moving on is acceptance and acceptance without questions, acceptance without hope. Hope for something that could've been for something that is already what was.