The Interview

Again

I was sitting on my floor in the living room with only few lights on. I felt so lonely. Chris is behaving like an asshole and since the day I handed him the divorce papers, he is doing everything in his power to make my life hell. For example today, he has the children at his house. I looked at the ceiling and I wanted to cry. I was little too drunk.

My iphone beeped and I got a new message. I was scared to open it as I knew it was from Patrick.

Is it a kind of invitation? 

And a picture of a bottle of Champagne with the note From Paddy. I laughed. I remembered everything we've been through together, all the days we spent together, all the fun, pain, laugh and cries. We were like married couple but there was nothing more than this fun and a friendship on the edge of romance.

Another beep took me back to reality.

I am sorry, too much scotch and loneliness

Without thinking, I sent him my new address. What the fuck, Ellen. I knew I was playing with fire. He's married, Jill is gonna freak out like everytime we were together alone. 

I stood up from the floor and almost fell down again.

"Shit! Too much wine." I said as I went to the window. My life was so fucked it couldn't get any worse. I took a deep breath and went to my hi-fi system and playd the song Lean on Me by Bill Withers. And that moment, I heard a ring. Door ring. At 11 pm. 

"Fuck. Fuck." He came. Maybe it's Chris with the children. Maybe not. I checked myself in the mirror. 

"You look horrible. Great job, Ellen." I internally panicked and then I realized that THE person is still standing behind the door. I ran down the stairs and almost broke a leg and I couldn't breathe.

I finally reached the door and opened them without thinking. I stopped breathing and almost fainted. There was noone. I had to support myself so I leaned on the frame of the door and slowly slided down on the floor. I covered my face with my hands and almost started to cry. I took a deep breath and put my head on the frame. It was then I noticed the bottle. Champagne. From Paddy. He was there and I missed him. Again. Again. I had the opportunity to see him, to even talk to him, eventually crash into his strong arms. I screwed it up. I hated myself. I wanted to cry and I wasn't able to stand up from the floor and go back inside. He left. Again. Without a word...