The Interview

You're Everything

Patrick's POV

We were sitting on the blanket, eating our muffins and drinking, I believe it was almost midday but I didn't care. I was prepared to sit on this freaking blanket all day and night as long as Ellen is with me. Nothing else mattered to me.

"Do you miss it?" She asked me after few moments of silence and I tried to catch up on her. I payed all my attention to her, studying her serious face.

"What?" I asked. She started to play with the now empty box. It was visible that she took a deep breath before speaking.

"Being on Grey's set... acting there, being with friends..." She looked at me and I wasn't sure what she wanted to hear. I looked away, deep in my thoughts, forming my words.

"You know, it's been really hard to leave the show, under given circumstances..." I fell silent for a while, considering my next words. Turmoil in my head. "At first, I was so angry but after year or so, I started to miss it all, but it wasn't anything compared to you." I looked at her, she was staring right into my eyes again. "When I left, I thought we could make it up somehow, that it would be okay between us again and we would hang out a little." Shit, this is not what she wanted to hear. I saw her blushing a little, maybe she felt ashamed and I felt horrible for making her feel this way. Fuck.

"Paddy, I am sorry..." she said subtly and her using my nickname that only she was allowed to use made me feel loved and I tried to remember the last time she called me like this. I smiled to myself and carefully caressed her cheek.

"There is nothing to be sorry about, El, really. I am the one here who should apologize." I said firmly and suddenly, she started to laugh.

"So now we're gonna challenge each other who is more sorry?" She laughed and I joined her. Man, how I missed this...

"So, Patrick, tell me, do you have any plans for future?" She put on a serious face. I choked a little, feeling little uncomfortable. 

"I have a lot of plans... but I hope that in all of them, there will be one specific person." I looked at her, trying to read her face, I scanned every curve on her beautiful face.

"Wha-..." I stopped her.

"Ellen, I want you in my life. I don't want to spend the rest of my life without you... I hate the thought of going through all of this mess again. I don't want to spend another minute without you. And I know it won't be easy but what is easy? I mean... we've been through a lot together, we know how to work things out together, we know how to help each other without even asking for a help." I took a deep breath. I didn't know if I should continue but at this point, there was nothing to lose.

"During all these years of ignoring, I spent every day looking at our pictures, I also replayed some our merder scenes." I had to smile to myself for saying this. "And one scene hit me really hard and it was the one where we were fighting but then I said..." I was afraid to say it... to put everything on her, maybe to push her somewhere where she didn't want to go. 

She encouraged me when she put her hand over mine and I immediately knew this is right thing to do. I took a deep breath and looked at her.

"I said that you are everything. And then you said you don't want to live without me. Do you remember that line?" I asked her, now terrified she wouldn't remember it. I looked away for a while, thinking I completely ruined this moment and when I looked back, she had tears in her eyes. Before I could say something, she was faster.

"I remember it like it was yesterday and I've been thinking about it all those years because..." First tear fell down her cheek. "Because... Patrick... I was..." she sobbed, unable to continue. She wipped her cheeks and tried to smile. "I was talking about you, not Derek." She whispered, it was like a confession of something you can never say to anyone, of something that is forbidden to say, like if you say it out loud, the world would stop turning.

"Ellie..." It  was all I was able to say. I wanted to grab her into my arms and never let her go again. I felt like I have to show her how much I loved her, how much she matters to me. "Ellie... you're everything... you're everything to me, everything that matters to me... I want to be with you, and only you..." I half whispered and leaned closer to her, putting both of my hands on her cheeks.

"I want to be with you, too, Paddy, for the rest of my life." She smiled and leaned closer, too, until she rested her head on my shoulder. I felt her relax in my arms, her heart beating peacefully, her breath regular. I wrapped my arms around her even tighter, finally feeling complete and I still couldn't believe that this is happening, that is really Ellen Pompeo in my arms, saying she wants to be with me, I have never felt happier in my life. I kissed the top of her head.

"I am really grateful for the interview." She said and I couldn't do anything else than to agree with the love of my life.