Boy in the bubble (Modern Merthur AU) (Discontinued)

Chapter Seventeen

Merlin sniffed, the sound filling the silent space that seemed infinite between the boys. His eyes filtered down to rough carpet layering the floor in the hall, the air smelt stale and cold in the dead of night and a soft buzz hummed in the space, hanging over their heads in the quiet.

It was Arthur who first spoke, Merlin had been reluctant to do so, he was always first to speak and he was tired, "I've been a prat..." he spoke softly, the type of language foreign on his tongue, it was rare he admitted his mistakes especially to someone else and without being forced.

In response, Merlin simply lifted an eyebrow, and a breath escaping his lips, it was small and had they been anywhere else Arthur was certain he would have missed it.

"I can't stop thinking about you." He admitted, "I can usually just drown my thoughts out if I don't like them. I can't do that with you. You're a constant presence in my mind. I just - I don't know how to act and," he sighed, blowing a forceful breath through closed lips that were parted with the power, "No one ever told me that liking a boy was okay. I mean, my dad beats me if I breathe too loudly, imagine if he found out I was gay."

Merlin was quiet for a long time, as though he were repeating Arthur's confession in his mind and deciding what to respond to first.

"You don't have to fear him anymore." He chose finally, "You safe here."

"Yeah, but one day I'm going to have to go back." He said, his voice raising an octave.

Merlin's head shuck slightly, as if it were a piece of card caught in a small breeze, but he said nothing in response.

A thick swallow could be heard and the creaking of a floorboard as Merlin shifted on his feet, "What do you want from me?" he inquired, meeting Arthur's sapphire eyes.

"I don't know." He replied after a hesitant moment, his arms prickled with goosebumps as Merlin's skin appeared to glow in the night.

He chewed his lip slightly as if he were debating something, his breathing rang heavy through his nose and even in the dark the blond could tell he was fidgeting.

"I want -" The blond cleared his throat, cursing his nervousness and took a step closer to the noirette, "I want to kiss you, and be with you." With every want spoken he stepped forward, his skin singing in anticipation, "I want you. And - I don't want you to do anything, just be here. Like you are anyway."

Merlin stayed silent, his eyes hooked onto Arthur's, toes digging into the carpet.

"I'm here." He said with a shrug, his voice sounded peculiar and outlandish to his own ears.

Arthur, now only millimeters away, darted his tongue across his lips to wet them, having them gone completely dry.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered, voice gravelly in the unfamiliar tone.

Merlin took a shaky breath and nodded slightly.

Hesitantly and like it was the first kiss (which it most certainly wasn't) Arthur reached for and cupped Merlin's face, slowly and sweetly bringing their lips to touch. It was unlike the last two times they had kissed, it was soft and gentle and addictive, neither felt the rush to exhilarate it, it was born of pure intimacy. It was perfect.

Before long, Merlin's hand, which had been hanging awkwardly at his sides, made their way to loop Arthur's neck, keeping him close and being used a strategy to pull him back should he try to move away. The two were so close, Merlin could smell Arthur's aftershave radiating off him, Merlin still slept in the top he had lent on Arthur's first night but hadn't fit, the smell had long but withered, however, the thought that it was once there was a comfort. His feet were tired from standing up, he had waited long for Arthur's return and the pressure was beginning to build on his soles but any discomfort was pushed to the back of his mind as soon as Arthur's soft and generous lips were lapping on his own.